This is my first post here. A warm hello to this wonderful community.
At New Year, my mum was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer. It was a total shock - both her and my dad have had the luck of incredibly good health up till now; lived independent and active lives which defied their numerical age (78 and 86 respectively).
My mum has always been passionate about food, is an excellent and adventurous cook, and the family have enjoyed for decades her beautifully crafted meals. Bringing us together over food was her way of showing love, and it has always been an integral part of our family life and their broader social life.
Now my mum has a double stent (bile duct and duodenum). The latter means she can only eat little portions of liquid or soft food. To her amazing credit (I am in awe!) she has accepted this new normal with positivity. But she is not strong enough to cook any more herself.
As is perhaps quite common with a man of his generation, my dad (now the primary caregiver) is struggling to adapt both emotionally and practically. For their entire marriage (over 50 years) it has been my mum in charge of shopping, cooking etc. I am doing everything I can to help (batch cooking etc). But I live in London and they are in the West Country, so day-to-day/meal-to-meal management is proving really challenging. I'm obviously concerned my mum needs specific food prep and careful balance of her nutritional intake. But my dad also needs good and nourishing meals to keep him going.
Does this group have any ideas for how to manage this? Or services that exist? My dad is fiercely intelligent and reluctant to admit any sort of vulnerability/ask for help (another quality of his generation I think) And is stubbornly resisting making changes in case they mean that he's somehow failed or let my mum down.
