Struggling

Hi there, I am going through this just now and also struggling. My partner has been through hell the last 3 years and it’s taken its toll on my mental health as well as his. 
I asked my doctor for a sick line for anxiety. I’ve been off work 6 months now. We’re approaching my partners final phase now and it’s getting tougher. Hope you have a good support from family and friends. I have a good friend who has recently lost a close family member and we try to support each other.

Try to look after yourself as best you can. I’ve been doing breathing exercises and eating small amounts of healthier meals. Wish you the strength to cope. 

I can understand your shock.  Yes its hard. My husband had a stage 3 parotid cancer.  You need to just help him do what he can.   Sometimes one has to let reatment or not go. When nothing can be done  we need to be there for the person.  You can nly suopport your partner in what is happening. You being there would not have helped. He had a friend with medical knowledge there so  anything needed to be asked would have been done

Hi Driftwood,

sorry for the slow reply and thank you for your supportive message. I am sorry you are going through this too. I have supportive people around me but it’s still so hard. I am constantly emotional and I am trying to not cry when I am with him but I just can’t stop myself. I hope you are ok. xx

Hi Butterfly, no need to apologise. It’s a stressful time for you. Don’t be hard on yourself for crying. I cry a lot. The tears release some pain. I always say sorry for crying in front of my partner and he reassures me he’d be exactly the same.Its such a lonely and frightening time for you both.

I’m still processing the fact that this is probably in his final few weeks. I fear I will lose a big part of myself when he leaves but also grateful I got to feel so unconditionally loved by him. Take of yourself. I’m here if you need a chat.

1. Hi there.My husband has been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer.I m finding it so hard and can't stop crying .I'm trying so hard to keep strong and look after him the very best I can but sometimes it gets so overwhelming It's as if it's a bad dream that I can't wake out of.My only prayer is that he doesn't suffer too much.He's been poorly lately with a chest infection and has to spend time in bed .I just find it so hard to believe this is really happening

Hi M.D I am sorry you are going through this too. I also wake up every morning hoping  it’s just a bad dream then reality hits. I am sure he appreciates everything you are doing to look after him. Look after yourself too. Sending love xx

Thank you Butterfly77.Its as if your whole life's been taking over with trying to do things to make him feel better but I wouldn't have it any other way .The thought of not having him here in my lifis breaking my heart

So sorry for all you are going through. My mum (89) and I are in similar situation just now. My sister (due to turn 62 this Thurs 23 Jan) was diagnosed early Dec with terminal bile duct cancer with widespread progression and multiple site lesions, incl lymph nodes, lungs, liver.... She has deteriorated hellishly quickly and has gone from riding her horse and mucking out its stable then, to now just lying in bed, unable to eat, continually vomiting and so weak she cannot move at all.

She's been in hospital most of last week trying to stabilise her vitals and stop sickness and get some nourishment into her as they need to drain fluid off her stomach and remove a blood clot. Just writing and thinking of all she is going through is so hard, and feels so unreal. 

I don't live near them but am going though there tomorrow, and I honestly think I'm going to be watching her die.  I'm heartbroken and so sad. My mother, (who has always been incredibly close to my sister living next door as they do), is near mad with anticipatory grief and I'm not entirely sure she will get through this. I'm trying to be strong for and when I'm with them but I'm scared and broken.

And feel so out of control. Cos there's nothing anyone can do. But it helps to read other people's posts so thanks everyone for sharing.

Life is so very cruel at times.Trying to stay strong is so hard at times .My heart goes out to you

Thank you M.D. I know what you mean about feeling trapped in a never ending nightmare. I'm terrified to go to sleep, cos I know I'm going to have to wake up. And remember.

Throughout my life I've lost lots of people suddenly, sometimes very young, and that's hard and shocking, but this slow process, a feel like a centipede having legs pulled off one by one. Hope you can find strength somewhere.