Moms results

I'm so sorry to hear about your mum. I totally understand how you feel, I don't have any advice to give, just wanted to say that I'm on the same boat. I'm also living in constant fear. My dad has terminal bowel cancer, I act cheerful and happy around him, as if nothing is wrong. It's his approach at dealing with things, don't talk or mention the dreaded C word. It's been 11 months, my dad is still here, the doctors are amazed but keep on reminding me to be prepared (my dad let's me handle the doctors and nurses). I'm so grateful he's still here, but like you say it's like a ticking time bomb. We all deal with things differently, I take a day at a time and I'm grateful he's still here the next day. I guess we can say that for everyone, we're all mortal but knowing that doesn't make it easier. 

Is it possible for you to stay at your mum's house for a few nights? It's nice of you to invite her to stay at yours, It's difficult, we can't force our parents to do things but then you're worried about her cos she's alone. I hope you'll find a solution to this. 

Please do be kind to yourself, you need to look after yourself so that you have the energy to look after your mum. I've been a hermit,  my life revolves around working from home, going to my parents house. I've been avoiding friends and paranoid about catching colds/flu/covid. I've deprived myself of joy and put my life on hold. I use to go to a meditation class, I've started going again last month. It was so nice to see my friends and to take a break from my negative thinking. I'm still constantly worried about my dad but I've allowed myself to have a bit of a social life again. Feeling guilty is also an emotion I'm working on, I feel guilty about things easily too. 

I'm someone who likes to think ahead and prepare for the worse. I've been reading up on end of life care, called the funeral directors to ask questions, spoken to doctors and nurses about what to do, been listening to YouTube videos and podcasts about death and grieving. My brother thinks I'm crazy and morbid, he just takes a day at a time and copes in his own way. We all have to find our own way of coping. There will be overwhelming moments when you feel like you can't cope, the Macmillan helpline is extremely helpful. I've called them several times at the beginning, cos I've been dealing with these emotions for 11 months, I've got a bit better at handling it but I know the helpline is available if I want to talk. 

Sending you a big hug and strength. 

Thank you for your reply, reading it sounded just like part of me, it’s so upsetting and hard to watch our loved ones declining. I am taking each day as it comes too but it’s so draining. I too have to read up on what to expect, I suppose everyone’s journey is different though. We have to be strong for our parents as they have always been there for us throughout of lives. We never want to lose them do we. Sending a hug to you too 

It's an emotional rollercoaster, in my dad's situation,  there's so many ups and downs but I know that at some point it'll just go downhill. I'm dreading that day. The Marie Curie website has a lot of useful information. They have a helpline and online chat. I'm so grateful for all these charities and lucky that my dad's GP and palliative care team are so kind. It makes it a bit easier to navigate cos I'm clueless and scared. You're right, now it's our turn to be strong for our parents and be there for them. Hang in there, our parents need us. I think our parents wants us to be happy, so allow yourself to have a break and some fun with your grandchildren. I've spent the whole weekend at my parents house, it's emotionally draining but I'm glad I can spend more time with him. Now I'm taking an evening off to do nothing and trying to recharge my batteries before I visit my parents again tomorrow. Make sure you give yourself some downtime to relax a bit. Take care x