Our mom

So sorry to hear about your mum. I am in a similar situation with my mum who has secondary liver cancer (primary in Her pancreas). Mum was diagnosed in August and has managed 4 cycles of chemo but it is not working and liver mets are multiplying and growing fast. My dad has dementia and is type 1 diabetic so for the past 5 months he had to be moved into a nursing home 45 mins away and  we have only recently been able to move dad to a nursing home closer to us and importantly mum. It was such a stressful time. 
I have joined this community to help me try and Process and talk about next steps with others in a similar situation. I have no idea how we will manage to tell dad what is happening to mum. I suppose all we can do as a family is make sure we know mum’s wishes day to day and for her to know dad is ok and settled. My sister and I luckily live near mum and dad but with juggling our jobs and families it is so hard. I keep reminding myself to stay strong and take each day at a time despite being so scared for mum (and dad) and reminding myself how lucky we are to have whatever time is left. I hope you are able to do the same. It is so hard to see someone change and gradually fading before your eyes.  I listened to ‘with the end in mind’ kathyrin mannix recently and it gave me some solace that most palliative deaths are peaceful. Keep on reaching out to give you strength. 

Sorry to hear the news about your mom thanks for all your kind words and your advice I’ve just gone sick from work as mom had a fall today which has taken her off her feet we actually think he legs gave way 

drs want a scan doing  !! Not quite sure why they spoke about the cancer spreading and that’s why but we already know it’s spreading  moma slept nearly all day today which is tough to watch  

hoping tomorrow brings peace and rest for us all 

take care 

Hi Rolo,

sorry to hear that you mom is unwell, firstly you are not alone, so many of us are in similar circumstances. Hopefully you have a supportive family around you. 
Have you asked Macmillan the questions you want answering? I know how difficult it can be and how upsetting it can be, my mother in law is similar to your mom. primary Bowel but spread to lungs and other places. We only found out at the start of January and She just seems to be deteriorating fast and there is nothing me and my husband can do to help her. He is an only child so everything does fall to us. We also have children so trying not to impact their routines is very important to me but also very difficult to manage at times. 
do try speaking with someone and we are all here to support each other. Claire