Diagnosis to death in less than 2 months??

I'm so sorry to hear this. I have no words of wisdom at all and I can't offer you anything, I just wanted to say how sorry I was. My husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer, stage 4, two years ago. He's responded well to treatment but at the time of his diagnosis we thought he had just months left. I still remember the utter devastation I felt and how I too thought I'd be a widow soon. This feeling has never completely left me so I just wanted to say something to you that might make you feel not quite so alone in your despair.  I also worry that my husband and I should be doing more in what will certainly be a shortened life and time together. Perhaps in a day or two when you both have had time to process this new reality, your partner might be able to say what she would like to do? A friend of mine died two years ago from secondary breast cancer and wouldn't see anyone in the months leading up to her death. That,  of course, was absolutely her right but I so wish I'd been able to see her again before she died. Again, I'm so sorry that you're going through this. 

Hello newbie newbie. You are entitled to ask for a 2nd opinion from another hospital. My husband has head and neck cancer. I found out that The Royal Marsden hospital is a specialist centre for this type of cancer and we sought a 2nd opinion from them, on the NHS, at no cost to us. We had to go via the oncologist, but I explained that this was not about questioning their treatment and prognosis, but about me, as a wife, knowing that I had done everything I possibly could to help my husband. I wanted to know when the end comes, I couldn’t have done any more.  Perhaps you could ask your oncologist to do the same. They are used to it, it happens a lot. The Royal Marsden assured us he was getting the best treatment, although sadly it has not been effective and we have been advised my husband has weeks/months, but I feel I couldn’t have done anymore. I wish you luck. 

Hi newbie newbie

nothing prepares you for hearing a scary prognosis like that. It's totally overwhelming for all involved, 

I'm currently supporting my husband through his stage 4 brain tumour journey. He was first given his terminal diagnosis in early Sept 2020. Now three years down the line I am very wary of "timescales" given. I've come to realise that they are best guestimates based on published averages and no one is average. Everyone is unique. 

We were originally told 18-24 months then post surgery that reduced to 12-15 months. In March 2021 we needed a letter for his employer regarding life expectancy and it was out as " less than 12 months". But things remained stable...

In early Oct 2022, fresh tumour growth was picked up on a routine MRI. At the end of Feb 2023 we were told the time had come for palliative care as nothing else could be done. The oncologist said he had a "few short weeks, maybe 2/3 months."

In early August 2023, he began to have an issue with focal seizures and long story short was admitted to the local hospice for a few days. The doctor there said he had "a few days, maybe a few weeks" and told us to have all the conversations we need to have.

Here we are at the end of August, 3 weeks later, and he's still here. I accept he is medically very unwell and his overall health is complex  but he's still physically active. He's a fitness freak and always will be, I do know that our time is short as I can see he is declining but we now have the added complexity of a DVT and suspect PE.

I guess what I'm trying to say is don't stress too much about the time frame the doctor says. You'll know for yourself when things are changing. Base things on what you actually see day to day. For now though, take each day as it comes. Live in the present and enjoy life as much as you can.

This community is  a safe and supportive space so please reach out here anytime. There's always someone about to listen who gets it. And remember the helpline is there too should you need them. The number is below.

Sending you a huge virtual hug and lots of positive energy. Stay strong,

Love n hugs

Wee Me xx