My husband, from whom I have been seperated for 5 years , has just been diagnosed with terminal stage 4 lung cancer. He has moved in with myself and one of our daughters as he lives alone and I was happy for him to come 'home' for me to look after him. However, he has a gf of only 8 mnths and whilst I thought I was ok with this, her presence has unlocked emotions in me from our marriage during which he was unfaithful-. I dont want to be her- God, no!- but the ptsd it has caused of seeing her with him (something I would never had to witness before this has happened) has triggered some v painful emotions in me, which in addition to my husband of 40 years terminal diagnosis has proved almost too much to bear. I have felt a little insane during the past few weeks if Im honest. Whilst trying to keep it all away from our kids.
I dont even know what point Im making as I havent been his wife in the physical sense for many years. I just want things to be less complicated as my husband navigates the months ahead but at the same time I know its unreasonable to ask him to give her up given the fact he is dying. Such conflicting and surprising emotions.
Its really not like in the films is it??
You are so kind to let him come back into your lives for this difficult few months. Did you know he also had a girlfriend who would be around too? I think you’d better speak with him and explain your feelings. Or, you are just going to have to try to share him and accept the situation as it is. Or maybe she will have to look after him if it is all likely to make you feel this way. Don’t damage your own health. I’m not a relationship counsellor and I’ve not read this sort of post before. 
Just my gut feelings.
