A couple of weeks ago I took my 77 year old dad to hospital as he had been having trouble peeing and had blood. He was told he had bladder cancer which was a shock as he has been very active, and also had multiple Pe's in his lungs. He's had COPD long term but managed well for around independently managed an allotment with my mum, went for long walks etc. He was due to have surgery next week on the bladder so they could biopsy and agree treatment. He went back to hospital in an ambulance yesterday as he stopped being able to pee and lots of blood again. Today at his bedside we spoke with the nursing team about the plans for him to return home and die, he looks the shell of the person he was two weeks ago, they cannot do anything for him other than make him comfortable. I'm in such shock it's progressed so rapidly and agressively. He isn't able to eat and drink having trouble swallowing, incontinent now, bed bound, short of breath, it's a lot to take in. Him and mum want him to be at home so I'm hoping we can get things in place before it's to late. I'm finding myself lingering on thoughts of him being alone in the hospital room, scared in pain frightened, there has been no suggestion of these things happening but I can't shake these instusive thoughts, it's destressing and I don't know why they are happening :(
