Am I being selfish ?

Hi Cotts 

I'm sorry to hear about your OH's diagnosis. It sounds as though he is trying to put his head down and get on with the chemo and it's effects. Either that or he is becoming depressed and feels that he has no control over his life and feels helpless and without hope. I am incurable myself and have been through chemo so have some idea of what he is going through. Would your OH be open to the suggestion of planning to do something nice on his good days? It is sometimes easier to talk openly when not at home. This would be a chance of finding out how he would like you to support him.

If this is not an option and you need professional help, would he talk to his CNS, she may be able to refer him for counselling, this really helped me. I had counselling supplied by Macmillan and also was referred to psychology services by the chemo nurses. Those sessions were excellent. Do you have a Maggie's centre near you? There may be a professional he can talk to or group sessions he could join. The Macmillan phone lines are also another option, this is the link to contact https://www.macmillan.org.uk/about-us/contact-us   They would also give you advice if you yourself rang them. There is also support for carers, listed below;

Carers Trust www.carers.org.uk Tel 0300 772 9600

Carers UK www.carersuk.org.uk Tel 0808 808 7777

I hope you find the support you need, best wishes for treatment,

A x

Hello Cotts, I'm sorry to hear about your OH.  You said this all happened recently,  and so I think news of this magnitude can take some time to sink in.  I hope as the days go on that he might "come around" but some people can be in such shock he literally doesn't know what to say, or think.  It is incredibly overwhelming.   I hope you can speak with your friends and perhaps family, to express your thoughts and feelings, as you'll want to be able to cope with all of this too, so don't isolate yourself.   I don't think it's permanent,  just let time take its course.  Love, Woods.