Struggling today

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My partner of 32 years has terminal cancer, she is in a hospice. I have had good days and bad days as I am sure you will all understand. I have been coping reasonably well but I have become quite ill with covid. I feel like emotionally it has set me back, I am feeling very sorry for myself that I am here alone with no one to care for me, and given what my partner is going through, this makes me very ashamed. I dont know if its because I feel poorly, but I am unable to stop crying, the thought of the rest of my life without her is almost unbearable. The thought of all the years ahead that she will not be with me, today is just overwhelming. I know no one has a magic cure and its something I have to get through, it just helps writing it on here with others who will understand. 

  • Sending some hugs your way. xx

    gail

     
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  • Hello,

    I am so sorry…sending you an arm/ both arms around your shoulders

    this is hard even when you are in the best of health but to be apart from your loved one when you are feeling rubbish and alone makes it harder I know.

    I hope you have family and friends to support you in this and any next stages, even so, please message… you are important, need support and loving too….and everyone is here for you…but take a deep breath you are so amazing  too xxx

    Take a deep breath ... then on with the day.

  • Hello I understand your struggle I am struggling too. It does make you feel very lonely even with lots of support. How are we supposed to face our mature years without the partner we have spent most of our lives with. Nothing can compare us for terminal cancer and watching our loved one suffering. I too feel that I have been coping reasonably well but it doesn't get any easier. I've had to do as they keep saying and try and take one day at a time and try not to look to far ahead but that's easier said than done giving what we are facing. Just have to keep being strong and give yourself a bit of a break and some time out when you can. We are not alone and we will get through it because we have to. I hope I might have helped but as you said it does help just writing your thoughts to others who do understand.