I last saw my son in September when he was relatively well. He lives in Cape Town and we made some lovely memories. He is now not well and when l asked his Wife if l should come to see him, she said that he sleeps most of the time and that she is finding it very hard to keep the home going, consoling her children, working and of course looking after my son. In other words, l would probably be an extra burden for her, which l fully understand as my late husband had cancer as well. I am 80 years of age and yes l probably would be. I was present when my brother passed away, also with cancer and this was particularly traumatic for me as he was in a lot of pain and this has stayed with me. I want to remember my son as he was when l last saw him.
I feel though that l am abandoning him
Has anyone else been in this situation?
HI
a warm welcome to the community. I am so sorry to hear about your son. I can't imagine where your head and your heart are over this.
My husband was diagnosed with a stage 4 glioblastoma in Sept 2020 so I can relate to an extent here. We are now at the palliative care stage although he remains physically active. His symptoms are largely cognitive (Similar to dementia) which brings its own challenges.
Please don't feel as though you are abandoning your son. I'm sure he and his family know how much you care and understand that in an ideal world you'd want to be with them. Just a thought but can you video call him? It's not the same as being there by any stretch of the imagination but it may be better than nothing. Perhaps your daughter in law could pick a time when he would be up for a chat.
I also get that you don't want to see him suffering. Losing someone we love to cancer of any sort leaves emotional scars that live with us. There is a lot to be said for holding onto the good memories of happier times.
love n hugs
Wee Me xx
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
I am so sorry for your loss.
Sending love and light and hugs
Wee Me xx
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
