Hi I'm new to the forum.
I went on holiday a couple of weeks ago and came home to the news that my dad had been taken into hospital. He had been waiting for an investigation into a UTI problem he had been experiencing since Christmas, and we were expecting him to undergo an outpatient procedure this week, but he became really unwell in the meantime so my mum called 999.
He was in hospital for over a week undergoing further tests, and at one stage was "nil by mouth" for two days in anticipation of a surgical procedure to fit a stent to drain his kidney, but nothing was happening and no-one was telling us why.
He was then given his diagnosis, alone, out of the blue, late at night, and told there would be no surgical procedure. The team of consultants had apparently been trying to work out how to treat what they had found but concluded nothing could be done.
It breaks my heart that he went through this alone. I was unable to visit him in hospital because I came back from my holiday with a virus and wasn't well enough, plus I didn't want to pass the virus on to him. My brother lives quite a distance away and had work commitments, and my mum has mobility issues so was unable to get to the hospital either. We had been communicating with dad via mobile phone and by ringing the ward to speak with the staff.
The family were called into the hospital the following day to hear the news for ourselves. They told us one of his kidneys has a huge tumour, and that the cancer had spread to his urethra, his lungs and his lymph nodes. In addition he has a large blood clot in his main artery and lots of small blood clots floating freely around his body.
Furthermore, he was also due to have a separate procedure to remove a carcinoma from his head but this procedure was also cancelled. They told us that they had explored every possible surgical procedure and treatment option but concluded that they would either kill him, not work, cause other issues, or just be futile. He only has weeks left. We are obviously shocked and devastated.
The sad irony of this is that dad has been a carer for my mum for the past year because she has health problems and was awaiting spinal surgery. She has now had the surgery and it was a success so is on the road to recovery. They had discussed having a holiday once mum was back on her feet and dad had his little procedure, and were both well enough. That's not going to happen now. I can't imagine how sad and frustrated they must feel, and dad in particular. He was such an active, independent man until a couple of weeks ago and now he can barely walk and it is such a major effort for him to do anything. It's so upsetting to see.
I'm not writing this to ask for any particular advice as we have a lot of support around us and I am clear on what's happening and what to expect, but I just felt the need to share my story with others who are in a similar position.
Mac and Laura.. I’m in the same sorry theme park too.. have been for 5 months.. it’s horrific. I’m broken. My dad is about to go anyway now aged 69. It’s all so cruel. I love him so much.
im so sorry your in my boat! Look after yourselves as best you can in this terrible ride 
xx
