End of life signs

iris rainbow, you have just wrote my exact same story This truly is one hell of a journey. Sending you a hug xx

Its hell on earth. Watching someone you love, both of you knowing they are slowly dying in front of your eyes. I wouldnt wish this on anyone.

Thank you darling34. I think you're right, believe it or not I'm a mental health professional and I cannot cope with my own right now. My eyes are like red golf balls, Ive aged 20 years in 5 months. I never envisaged this. I wish it wasn't happening for any of us. We wouldn't let an animal suffer like this, your right its so cruel. My Dad, the strong man I love is spending everyday crying asking to be let go, unable to breathe and immobile spending every hour in silence lying in the bed, its heart rendering. He has no life left. There is nothing I can say to you to help you either, it's just a support to hear from others as it is an awfully sad, lonely ride to be on. I described it today as being in a washing machine for 5 months on full spin, I'm banging the door and no one is coming to let me out, I need the door open to breathe I'm so sorry for you and your mum too, sending lots of love your way xxx

It really is.....my heart is broken, I'm so sorry

I look at my partner and I just pray for it to be over soon, but then I hate myself because thats like wishing her dead. I have so many conflicting feelings. Sending hugs to all you you going through the same.

I think exactly the same of course if I could I would keep my mother with me forever but I would never in a million years keep her here like this it's no life it's a cruel existence so I to wish my mum would go quickly and be at peace I wish this more for her than I do for me. It's wrong people should have a choice to die as the person they are not like this isn't my mother she is a shadow of the person she was no dignity this horrible disease has taken everything away from her and me. 

I totally understand.. I have those feelings too. Don’t think we would be human if we didn’t 

I totally agree. I want my dad the way he was and that’s impossible. I want him to be at peace.. out of this horrible life he’s enduring. It’s beaten the life out of all us.. most of all those enduring it.. I can’t imagine what they are thinking x

Crystalwitch,

Don't beat yourself up for thinking that you want your partner to go... It's because we love them so much that we pray for their release.

It always gets me that we accept it is kindness to put an animal to sleep to relieve their suffering, yet, we prolong human life for them to linger in physical and emotional pain, crying out for the relief that can only come with death. 

I so wanted my husband to live, but only as he was before the big 'C' took hold of his body. I could only sit and watch as he deteriorated. He had fought so hard but could do no more... So I told him to stop fighting simply to stay with me, I loved him too much to see him suffer just to stay another hour, another day, another week. 

How I wish it hadn't been so, I long to have him back by my side, but I want my husband back as he was not the patient he became, who lay in silence, not eating or drinking just simply staring into space as he waited ...

My thoughts are with you and all on here as you go through this most awful time.

Mym x

Thank you mym for the reply. It’s so true what you have said. We all long for them but as they was. It’s a cruel, horrible disease that’s robs us of the ones we know and love. I’m so sorry for yourloss.. but thank you for continuing to support others going through this ️ xx