My Dad has been given 2 months

Hi Clairealo,

Sorry to hear this, I not replied to a forum before. I’ve got stage 4 cancer and went through a period a month ago that I struggled with. I really wanted to see my kids and think you should reach out a call your Dad. Your Dad will be thinking of you.

Thanks for sharing.

I am so sorry. Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. 

I did message yesterday but he was having a rough day and asked that I wait a couple of days before I ring him. I am going to visit on the 27th and can't wait to give him a hug. I've decided that I am going to write a letter over the next couple of days to give to him so that if i am too upset to tell him how much he means to me, he will still know. 

It is all just so hard. 

Thank you again for replying to me. My thoughts are with you. Xx

Hi again Clairealo

Your reply helped me get things in perspective today so I’ve been out for a walk and had a good start to the day. I think the idea of a letter is an excellent one. My dad wrote me a brief letter telling me the things he was proud about in my life. I read it, called him up and then cried a bit but it really helped.  There are no rules for this, so just take it step-by-step and try to talk about things are important to you both. I wish you all the very best for your meeting and for Christmas.

David

Hi, we have also just found out my granny has a very aggressive cancer and doesn’t have much longer left, she is older than your dad but it is still very unexpected. It’s natural to cry but I also feel bad if I cry in front of my granny. It is a natural response to what you have just found out. The shock at first was unimaginable I cried all the time and couldn’t hold it in around her. We are just trying to cherish the moments we have left and spend as much time as possible as you can - I know this will be hard with you having children and living a few hours away. 

you just have to do the best you can do, if you need to cry, cry. We are now having conversations around funerals and sorting her affairs out and although it is sad it’s giving us a chance to have conversations we might not have had if we did not know. I’m sure your dad will want to hear from you whether you are crying or not. If you can’t speak atm without crying a letter sounds like a great idea, I’m sure he already knows how much he means to you. 

make the most of the 27th and enjoy the time you have x

Thank you so much for your kind reply. 

I am so pleased that my message has helped you even in a tiny way. You've really helped me too and I phoned my dad too. It was hard but we ended up joking and laughing about silly things. I feel so happy just to hear him laugh so thank you for helping me to make that call. I do appreciate it. 

Wishing you a merry Christmas and thank you. X

I am so sorry to hear about your granny. It is so hard. You are right though I'm just trying to talk it one day at a time and hoping we can have a nice day together on the 27th. 

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to me. I am wishing you the best possible Christmas and hope you can make some lovely memories with your granny.  X

Hi Clair, my mum was diagnosed just 4 weeks ago with pancreatic cancer and it's been hell ever since I feel like my whole world in 4 weeks has fallen apart. Im afraid I don't have any helpful suggestions of how to cope with it as I'm new going through it my self however I will say that pancreatic cancer is very aggressive and the change in my mum in one week has been awful so try and make as many lasting memories while you can I speak daily with my mum and I'm down there every day as I live right by her but you could speak everyday to your dad visit of face time. I know my mum is finding it hard to hold a conversation down so much at the moment so that may be a reason your dad can't speak to you every day on the phone. I just wanted to say I understand what your going through and I'm here if you need to chat.