Anticipatory Grief - Not ready to lose my Dad

Hello, I just wanted to send some love and support your way. I can't  answer your questions, because my mum who was diagnosed recently hasn't  got to that stage yet, but I am dreading it. She's  going downhill rapidly and struggling to eat. It's  a horrible thing to watch. So solidarity, and love.

Hello HealingHugs.

I am really sorry to hear this - I am in the very same position as you at the moment and it is very difficult. Sending love to you during this time. 

I take my Dad's lead at the moment, I sit and listen to him and I try to remind him of fun memories we have which he enjoys. 

I am also sorry to hear work are not being supportive. As someone who is very career focused, I can honestly say you should seriously consider getting signed off so that you don't have to worry or think about that during this time. Cherish the time you have with your Dad at the moment and focus on that. 

The only other advice I can try to give is to not think about the future yet, I know it is hard. Do every day one at a time, if you find your mind wandering try to pull yourself back to the present moment. That is what I am trying to do. 

I hope that helps in some way. Sending love x

I’m experiencing something similar. My dad has terminal oesophageal cancer and is rapidly declining. We have had to have some very difficult discussions today.

I feel overwhelmed tonight realising that this could be the start of his final days. My wonderful dad is is still giving too much thought about us and what we might want / what might effect us.

i realise that there is no treatment options now but I just wish he could be more comfortable or have had a few weeks of energy to go out and do some of things he would’ve have liked.

sorry I don’t feel like I have any advice to offer, but wanted you to know you’re not alone in feeling this way. Hoping for better days and comfort to your family x

Hi lovely, my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer in December and we were told yesterday that it had spread to his brain. As an only child and a daddies girl i can only say I'm devastated,. 

Ive bought a  hand casting kit so ill always have his hand to hold.

Im so sorry to hear that you are having a hard time too, my love and prayers to you and yours xx

Thanks for sharing your story - my heart goes out to you and your family.

When I read your post, it sounded very similar to mine. My dad also has stomach cancer which has now spread, we were hoping to get 2nd line treatment so we could at least enjoy a few months together as a family but he's taken a turn the last few weeks and he doesn't feel like he has long to go. 

I've been trying to make things as comfortable for him like letting him have foods he wasn't able to before and just listening and being there when he is feeling down and anxious.

It's hard to watch so I feel your pain and hope you and your family get the support you need x

Hi all, I’m so sorry to hear your stories.

This journey is unbearable. My dad is stage 4 stomach cancer. It’s all been such a quick journey but harrowing. The waiting for treatment and results etc. It’s a rollercoaster and I want to get off. 

I’m literally terrified of what’s to come. It’s ruling my life. I can’t stop thinking about it all.  I can’t bear to think of him in pain. He’s so anxious and also terrified. I have no control over this and I so wish I did, I’m doing all I can but wish I could do more to make it all right.  

I’m sending you all love. X

So sorry to hear your story but you are not alone.

I am in a similar situation, dad has terminal pancreatic cancer was had been given a year. But so far is still being a trooper. However complications keep cropping up and he is now back in hospital with blood infections from the cancer. His organs are are enlarged because of this so I'm also scared that is could impact organ failure. 

I too had thw worrt of not being walked down the aisle and was lucly enoguh to pull my wedding forward but can completely appreciate the hurt and panic of this.

As you mentioned your also supporting your mum l, likewise. One of the hardest things for me Is I feel like through this process I'm losing both my mum and dad just because of the hard impact it is having. It's hard now and I know theres is more to come. Hence why I wanted to join this community as I'm certain there's others like my that just need to be heard and understood 

Happy to catch up? I'm sure it would help us both.

Sending you love and support!