My Dad recently received a confirmed diagnosis for a stage 4, terminal, glioblastoma multiforme (aggressive brain tumour), given a year to two, dependent on treatment progression. He is due to begin radiotherapy on the 24th October to prolong as good a quality life as possible. But such is this news, he has good days and bad days; ones of positivity and others not so much (so much so that treatment is discussed as fruitless). We are a very practical, realistic family and so the ways with which I want to help are such. Unfortunately, it is also a logistical nightmare. My Dad and family are in Scotland. I live in Northern Ireland with my husband and two young sons. And I’m not sure how best to support my Dad nor am I sure of how I will spend more time with him when he has a short time left. I’m hoping to share in others experiences of living far from their loved ones during this difficult and unknowing time. Thank you so much for reading.
HI Unicorn K
apologies that no one has reached out to reply yet.
My husband was also diagnosed with GBM4 back in Sept 2020 so I can empathise with the emotional journey you are going through.
I can't comment on how you deal with the distance but Scotland and Norther Ireland aren't a million miles apart- although I understand it can feel that way sometimes. As for supporting your dad, be led by what he wants or needs. My husband is stubborn beyond belief and still wants to be in control. He had 6 weeks of oral chemo and radiotherapy in Oct/Nov 2020 and coped really well with it. Apart from fatigue in the last couple of weeks and for about 4 weeks afterwards, he was able to go about his day to day routine as usual. Yes there were some darker days in among this by we've made it through them each time they occur. He has been fitter than I could ever have expected and has far exceeded medical expectations so far. This year he went skiing with our daughter to France, he's run 2 marathons and he's even been an extra for Outlander.
I know this doesn't address your concerns over the distance and living far away from him but I hope it helps you to see that things might not be as bleak as you fear for a good long while yet. Back in Sept 2020 my husband was given 12-15months and here we are 25months later. He ran the London marathon at the start of this month.
I'm sure now that there's an initial reply to your post others will add their thoughts below (Folk can be shy at times) This is a safe and supportive community so please reach out anytime in the months to come. There's always someone around who gets it.
It’s always good to talk so please remember that you can also call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service provides lots of cancer information, emotional support, benefit and financial guidance or just a listening ear.
For now I'm sending you lots of positive energy, love and light and hugs
Wee Me xx
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
