My adult son

So sorry to read these.. sending  love to you and your family.. don't think about tomorrow and just keep putting one foot in front of the other.. at times I have felt like I am walking through cement and gasping for air, like I can not go on...but we have to for the one(s) we love. To provide their care, support them or be supported by them in some way, just keeping on going. I often struggle to do something for myself when I get an hour off, but I say to myself, mam would give anything to have this hour in her greenhouse or in her garden instead of laying in that profiling bed dying, so I force myself with thoughts like that to keep going...I doubt anything I have written helps in anyway.  I hope someone can offer your so words or wisdom or encouragement.  X

Thank you for responding Birdy 789.  Just back from the hospital again.  He's fading fast and receiving palliative care. He did grip my hand tightly and tried to speak a little.   His brother and wife spent some time with him, then me.  After dropping me off at home his brother has returned to the hospital..  We are all distraught.  We want him to just go gently now, but to lose such a wonderful person is heartbreaking and it's going to happen very soon. 

This whole process is so very traumatic. Its a roller coaster of emotions. Even when you get to that point of hoping they pass quickly and peacefully without pain, then lies the next stage, of life without them...the next dose of trauma..  but the one thing I will try to look for at this point, is that their suffering has ended. I Hope that will bring me, you and everyone in this situation a tiny bit of comfort. 

Thanks again for your support.  This is how I hope to see things  eventually, but at the moment my positive nature is depleted and my thoughts all over the place.  I have just called the Macmillan support number and poured it all out to a very kind man.  This has been very helpful, as is the fact I can be in touch again when I need to at any time. Sharing with a sympathetic stranger who understands the situation and offers more support when needed has been a good move, both online and by phone call.  

He's gone.  Just six weeks from the diagnosis my lovely eldest son passed away in hospital around 4am this morning.  There's little I can say at the moment.  At least I and his close family spent time with him yesterday and were able to talk to him and to get some reactions.  It was quick and peaceful.  The next part will be very hard.for us all.  

Sending love strength and sympathy x

I am so incredibly sorry for the loss of your dear son. There will be little comfort but the blessing of a peaceful passing with your family there is the best you can give each other.

sending much love and sympathy,

Louli