I don't no how to carry on

Oh Ellla, my heart goes out to you, such a difficult time…… We all react in different ways and some may look like they’re coping (when in reality they probably aren’t), others look like they are falling apart, there’s no right or wrong way. When you love someone it’s hard to lose them, but to express your feelings as you are is much better and healthier than locking them up inside for the day they eventually erupt. I had a friend who lost her brother and she felt she handled ‘things’ well, but 21 years later it all came out and she had a massive breakdown. I personally think you sound like you have an amazing relationship with your Nan and it’ll be something later in life you’ll be able to look back on with gratitude to think you were fortunate enough to have her, but at the moment there is no way you can think positive thoughts, it’s all too scary. Telling your Nan how much you respect her wishes and always offering her support will give her strength to go through what will be difficult. It might not feel good now and you have some tough times ahead, but your Nan will always be by your side in your thoughts and in your memories. Lots of love and big hugs xx