Hi everyone,
So I am new here and have been trying to look for support and I wasn't sure who to reach out to. My dad got diagnosed shortly before I started my final year at university with stage 4 brain tumor. I don't really know how to describe how I felt in the moment but life just didn't seem real for a while. My parents live abroad so I don't get to see him in person often due to cost of flights and my uni schedule.
Fast forward a few months later here I am today. My dad is still fortunately here and I am very grateful but I know its not long now. I think I have come to terms with it but I'm not really sure, the thought of having come to terms with losing my dad makes me feel really guilty but I know that if I don't I wouldn't survive when I do eventually lose him.
I have only told a select few people about this as I wanted to keep it as private as possible to avoid questions and people looking at me differently. This also makes me feel guilty though as when I work at my part time job I block it all out and give off this positive personality, most people calling me a 'ray of sunshine', but that is the last thing I truly feel like. I feel so broken, tired and empty all the time.
My partner has been so wonderful throughout this and I couldn't thank him enough for all the love and support he has shown me. But I have explained to him as much as he's there for me sometimes I still feel so empty and alone, which he understands. I feel like I have no one around me to talk to that can truly relate to how I feel. It's just my mum looking after him and she sometimes releases all her stresses on to me, which I completely understand as I know she hasn't got anyone to talk to either but sometimes it feels like a lot of weight on my shoulders.
I think I'm just trying to find someone I can talk to who may have similar feelings so that I maybe don't feel so lost and lonely.
Thank you in advance
Hello hopeful girl. Firstly can I say how sorry that no-one has replied to your post which bought a lump to my throat. I just dropped by this group and happened to read it. Losing a parent is so very hard, I well remember my Dad, who had dementia, gradually becoming less receptive and the effect it had on my Mum who obviously offloaded on my sister and me. It's hard when you live so far apart from your parents but so good to hear you have a supportive partner.
Last November my life changed when I found my cancer has metastasised all over and I'm now incurable. I've just finished chemo and can honestly say I feel great, for how long who knows but I'm determined to enjoy myself for however long I have left.
I'm going to suggest you contact the Macmillan Support team and find out if there's a Maggies centre nearby where you should be able to chat to someone who is going through the same sad time.
You can speak to someone in confidence by calling Macmillan Support on 0808 808 0000 - 365 days a year 8am to 8pm It's free from mobiles and landlines. The friendly team are waiting to take your call.
Big Hugs, Bxx
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
"Never lose hope. Storms make people stronger and never last forever” - Roy T Bennett
