My Dad's terminal cancer - guilt and stepping up

I feel like you. I don't live close by so will take time from work and go and stay for a few days next week and then as often as I can. Take Mum out, or even just sit. 

We find out soon if there'd any palliative chemo available but she's not well and not bouncing back from stoma surgery.

Hi, I think the fact that you're debating how best to support your dad shows that you are indeed a good daughter. My father died Wednesday having been diagnosed August 2020 and doesn't live close by .. It's been challenging re the distance.

I made sure I spoke to him regularly and as he got more tired asked him how often he would like to talk. I managed to be with him the week before he died and was also able to support my mother on whom this disease has taken its toll too... Which gave my father peace as he was worrying about her ( he chose to die at home).

So my advice is ask him what can you do to make him happy, his life easier etc. Just knowing you're thinking about him is sometimes a great comfort.

I was also brutally honest with my father and discussed how he felt, what unfinished business there may be be which was holding him back, anything on his mind etc. I think this bought him peace towards the end.

The best thing, and the thing he mentioned the most, that I bought him was a lovely blanket which he carried around with him for the last could of months but got an too heavy when he was bed bound, it was then replaced by a lightweight electric blanket which he also loved.

Don't be too hard on yourself x