My husband has 2 tumours in oesophagus, spread to lung & various lymph nodes, it’s inoperable & incurable,he’s had a stent fitted which hasn’t really helped, he say he can’t eat because of the pain but I feel it’s a mental block. He has lost so much weight in 6 weeks he’s lost 19 pounds, he hasn’t got any drive and it saddens me that he doesn’t seem to have any time for me. 6 weeks ago we were the happiest couple, on holiday having the best time. Oncologist said his chemo would start in two weeks, when we hadn’t got appointment I called and he wasn’t down for chemo so it’s starting 2 weeks late, I think this has pushed him into depression but he won’t talk to Macmillan. I feel helpless & hopeless but also guilty when I get frustrated with him. I don’t want my memories of him to be negative ones when we have had the best 14 years of my life. How do others hold it together. Sorry to waffle but I feel so alone in this.
