Tumour bleeding - end of life

Hi there, I’m so sorry you and your mum and dad are going through this difficult time. I think the palliative care nurses could come in and help with care. Your mum will be exhausted. I have no experience of tumour bleeds but I think you need additional help now. I looked after my dad for three months who passed this year with gangrene and that was very difficult. He didn’t want carers so I did it myself not thinking the hospice nurses could’ve helped. They came the last day and Ivgot to be just a daughter spending quality time with my dad with the burden and worry of managing his symptoms taken away. 
Tumour bleeding is probably one of the most difficult symptoms to manage. You are doing g a wonderful job for your dad.. much love to you xx

Hi I’m so so sorry to hear this, sounds like you guys are going through hell right now & I feel every bit of your pain my mum has a tumour come out her neck which my sister & I change the dressing on every day! It’s just getting bigger & we have been warned about the massive bleed that can happen on rare occasions! Of course that on top of everything else is so stressful! My mums has been beding slightly but nothing major thankfully I’m sorry I can’t help you with this but I’ll say a wee prayer for your family because I know what you will be going through right now & it’s horrific & yo and your mum are doing the best job ever Lots of love xx

Hi Louli thanks for replying. Sadly dad passed away on monday morning after having 4 major bleeds with his neck tumour it was just horrific. The final bleed I think was when his body had enough. That’s when the struggling to breathe happened and with it being the weekend the nurses didn’t come out quicker enough. At 5:30am I left dad to get back to my children, this is after the paramedics came at 02:15am for the bleed. I had a call from my mum at 8am to say she had to call them again for dads breathing they gave him more meds he said he was dying and needed to get out- he was desperately trying to get up and out. 
I returned at 09:30 to dad he was green he was struggling for every breath. The nurses arrived at 10:10 to administer more drugs and that made no difference they called the doctor to get the go ahead for more and when on the phone he took his last breath at 10:23. It was the most horrific thing to watch him go through he suffered every last breath. We thought he would get sedated when it was time and then drift off. It was too late. 
the tumour bleed they said was rare. As soon as it happens it happened again 3more times. 
I’m devastated and heartbroken he suffered. We did everything we could and he fought with every breath. His mind was still there the whole time. :( 

for anyone reading this please keep pushing and if the nurses are not available ring the paramedics as they can administer the drugs. 
il just gutted there weren’t any left for us to give him so he had to wait :( 

Hi Sky/ I think I replied on your other thread and sounds like your mum has something similar to dad. Sending you lots of love and hugs it is just the worst thing in the world. Keep an eye on the tumour I pray she doesn’t have a bleed just be as prepared as possible. 

I’m so sorry you’ve lost your dad in such traumatic circumstances. To be honest I felt you were worried about this happening and not having the help to hand if it did. 
Try not let the last hours of passing cast a shadow over his beautiful life. It’s a split second of his whole life and cancer has taken enough from you. Extraordinary things can happen when someone passes and I might be tempted to think he was trying to get out of his physical being as he was ready to go. You’ve been doing a wonderful and very difficult job over a long period of time. You’ve been juggling so much and still managed to get back to your dad to be there when he passed. You can take comfort in that at least. In fact you can take pride in it. Not many would. 
To be honest, when you feel like it I think you need to give feedback to your gp and palliative care specialists about how it played out and how it will have affected you and your mum and obviously your dad. 
This was a palliative care emergency and it happens. It might be rare to have a bleed but sadly it’s not rare to have this kind of distress at end of life  perhaps. Just saying.

My love and prayers are with you and your mum and I hope you are getting some rest because you will be needing that.

much love,

Louli xx

Hi , I’ve just read how your dad passed & my heart goes out to you & your mum, I know your dad will be at peace now and he was very lucky to have his family by his side doing everything they could for him. Now it’s time to be there for each other as you and your mum have been through a lot! I’m going to speak to our palative care nurses about what to do if there is a bleed because it was my mums doctor a while back who spoke to us about this but as the tumour is getting bigger I feel we need to be more prepared. Big love you & your mum. Xx