My mum was first diagnosed back in 2018 with Oesophagus Cancer, she had a major operation followed by Chemo and she was given the all clear, less than a year later she was diagnosed with Ovarian cancer and had a full hysterectomy followed by more chemo, again the consultants thought she was clear, one again less than a year went by and we found out that mum has peritoneal cancer (stomach lining) we were told this wasn't a type of cancer that could be cured but could be managed by Chemo so we thought she had years left in her yet.
Mum ended up in hospital last week with excruciating pain in her stomach a CT scan was done and we were got that news that you never want to hear, the cancer had spread too much and chemo was no longer effective, mum asked that dreaded question of "how long" the consultants reply was a few months.
My mum sat me and my sister down and told us the news on Saturday 13th November, i know its not even been a week but I just feel broken, my heart is broken, i try to keep a brave face when i see her but it just makes me think about when I wont have her anymore.
I feel guilty when i have a few minutes of feeling normal and maybe someone will make me laugh, i have a 9 year old and i recently got married I'm conscious that i don't want to appear miserable and sad around them all the time.
I'm scared when she's gone i will wish i had said or done something and it will be too late, but right now i cant think what those things would be.
I've read a lot about anticipatory grief and think I may be suffering with that also. I guess i just want to find someone who understands...
Thank you I really appreciate you taking the time to give me your advice. 
