Hello everyone, sorry we’ve all found our way here but glad there is a community out there where we can suppor each other.
my dads is living on borrowed time. We were give his shock diagnosis 14weeks ago…he was told he had inoperable pancreatic cancer and given “2 months, maybe 3.” And send home that day without so much a s a leaflet. I can feel my anger starting to build about that treatment but for the most part it’s been shelved as there have been more important things.
He is so frail but in recent weeks he has kind of plateaued with a few really awful days in between. Then he rallies. The last few days have been the opposite in that he got very, very weak the rallied to the point of becoming restless abs fixated on fixing pictures and trying to move them around. I called the palliative nurse last Friday as he has been so weak and pained, only for her to come out and find him suddenly raking for a screw driver to fix a light twitch!
i don’t know what’s going on. After two days earlier this weeks of sleeping nearly all the time and barely eating he didn’t sleep at all yesterday or last night really. He was very restless then was talking in his sleep, having a full blown conversation with my mum who dies five years ago. I’ve only heard him do this once before.
He’a becoming so pass remarkable too.I’m not sure if it’s ‘terminal agitation’ or just a normal ups and downs. All I know is it’s hard to support him as my emotions are being dragged from one extreme to the other. I feel like I’m second guessing everything when I prob just need to take a deep breathe and go with the flow.
I love my dad and watching him fade away has been hardest thing I’ve ever endured. Thanks for reading. I feel better already for just getting all that out.
