Listening to my husband cough himself to death

hi creina, my husband was diagnosed yesterday with incurable throat cancer. It's not in his lungs but he coughs loads too, as he now has a lot of secretions. He had some of his tongue removed earlier this year, which has affected swallowing. When he sleeps he sounds like he is drowning. I don't have any answers, but wanted to send my sympathy, as someone who is in a similar position xxx

Thanks Nat, it's horrendous, isn't it? Yes, that gurgling sound. Like all the fluid inside is going to swell up and engulf them. Thanks for reaching out, it's appreciated. How are you managing, is your state of mind ok? Mostly I am good at being strong, but then some days I just think... not sure how much more I can take. 

And Nat, I'm so sorry to hear you have only just found out he is terminal. Did you already suspect that was the case? You have a lot on your plate with the children and now this. Take care, sending hugs, Creina xx

Hi Creina

Like “mumofmuggles” I’m sorry I don’t have any answers but sometimes knowing others are there in spirit can help. My husband was diagnosed with inoperable and therefore incurable left lung cancer in June. It has spread to his lymph nodes and now possibly his right lung. His cough is also awful to hear at times, he cannot seem to “produce” any phlegm or mucus even though it sounds as if it’s there. He had a chest infection recently and I couldn’t sleep next to him as the sounds from his chest were so frightening (I was with my mum and dad when they passed away and it wasn’t as bad as his chest sounded). He is constantly drained and some days just wants to sleep all the time.

But he still tries to get out for a walk most days, he’s had one cycle of combined chemotherapy and immunotherapy but his liver reacted badly and his treatment had to be stopped... he is due to have his second cycle next week and we are hoping he doesn’t have the same reaction again.

Sending you (and mum of muggles) lots of caring thoughts.

Grasan

Thank you Grasan. It's really good that your husband is still getting out most days. Some days my hubbie doesn't even seem to have the energy to get to the end of the road, but a short outing every day is a good thing to aim for.

Thank you for reaching out. It is helpful to know that there are others in the same position - it is hard sometimes not to feel all alone. Take care, Creina

I find these forums help me realise that I'm not alone in my fears and worries. Sometimes his walk is literally to the garden gate and back but as you say a short outing is better than none. Everything is still looking okay for treatment on Thursday, although he has got to have another blood test tomorrow.

Grasan

Thank you Grasan, I’m sorry to hear about your beloved husband. The way you describe his coughing sounds exactly like my mum. She was diagnosed with inoperable incurable lung cancer about 3 weeks ago. She will be starting chemo in regards next week or so and relays on Oramorph to relieve symptoms and bizarrely, a hand held fan. It’s comforting to know that we aren’t alone in caring for our loved ones. I wish you and your husband lots of love.