Hi, my husband has advanced copd and last September as we were waiting to have lung reduction, we’re told out of the blue he had lung cancer. I think they have said T3 N1.
there is no treatment available due to his lung damage from the copd. So we are basically on palliative care, to keep him as comfortable as we can. We were advised that they didn’t think they would see him the next September, possibly 6 to 12 months.
thankfully he is still here and fighting as best he can.
it’s just so hard watching him go from this strong working man to a thin bloke who can hardly walk more than 10 ft. The hardest part for me is staying strong for our children and keeping a brave face in for them all. They are both putting brave faces on but I know my daughter is struggling and tired. She visits every other night and has for the last yr trying to make the most of the time we have. I have told her to take a break but I think she’s worried that one night she doesn’t may be something will happen
Hi.
So to hear about your husband and that you haven’t had a response sooner. That is unusual in this group.
I understand how hard it is as my husband has prostate cancer that has spread aggressively and is now having paliarive care only. He has also gone from being a strong broad shouldered man who people always said looked a lot younger than his 60years, to a frail old man. He is currently in hospital after having a couple of falls and even though there is only 8 years between us quite a few of the hospital staff have seemed shocked when I told them he is my husband as he is a shadow of his former self This is a very cruel disease
You don’t mention how old your children are but as your daughter is coming to visit I assume they are adults. For a long time I tried to protect our children by avoiding telling them mire than what they “needed” to know and coping with it all on my own, but I’ve found in the long run that wasn’t helpful. You also need to look after you and while I’m not saying you should burden your children sometimes it can be worse if we try to protect the too much - as they try read between the lines and don’t always get it righ. You don’t have to keep a brave face on- sometimes you just need to let it all out and then you will feel more able to pick yourself up again and carry on with the hardest job you will ever have.
Take care and any time you need a chat come here - it really doesn’t normally take two days to get a reply
Jillybean
Hi Jillybean,
im so sorry to hear you are going thru the same thing. Your husband is of a similar age to mine. He will be 59 this month, and like you has aged considerably but then I think I have to.
Our children are 28 and 25. And we decided from the day of the diagnosis to keep them informed of everything going on. As being told may only be 6 months keeping them in the loop was the best idea. That way we’ve been able to make as many memories together as possible as a family.
including a lovely break last October in Devon in two lovely log cabins and taking our young dog with us. This meant my husband could spend time relaxing with us all and see our dog on the beach, something he wanted to see, so we made that happen.
the children are very good I even managed to get a few days away to give me a break in July and the two of them took over his care. I still find thou I try to stay brave in front of them and him as I know as long as I stay strong he can.
Thanks again for replying and bring there. Same applies to you if ever you need a talk I’ll be here
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