Hello new here but been on the treadmill for just over a year

Hi, sorry to hear you are struggling. 

I don't have the same situation but I feel similar. My husband has an incurable cancer, he has had 1 round of chemo which didn't do anything to slow down the spread so they are now talking about trying different medication. 

My husband has days where he feels very uncomfortable & has very little energy. This is both when he was going through treatment & since he has been off the medication. He struggles to do anything on bad days. It is hard seeing him unable to do anything but lie on the sofa but equally I am running myself ragged working full time, cooking, cleaning & looking after our 2 children. I don't see him as being selfish or not caring about us but he does become quite short tempered with the children which is tough. 

Take care of yourself too.  

I am also new here. And like you my husband is terminal. Was advised in September 2020 he’d prob not see the following summer. Touch wood he is still here a year on and fighting. But like you he has days where I can’t do anything right, no matter what I say or do I’m snapped at. 
It got me down for a long time as I seemed to be running around doing everything and looking after him to get my head bitten off. 
I then sat back and tried to imagine how he must be feeling, not only unwell, but unable to work, walk more than 10 ft, feeling bad because he can’t do anything and guilty because he blames himself for putting pressure on the family. 
the best thing I can say is talk to him frankly and honestly find out how he feels, and explains how you feel. 
We have had a few talks which ended up turning into rows, but they got all our feelings out, especially his as he tried to bottle it. 
I was afraid to cause arguments or say how I felt as it made his breathing worse and it worried me. But ww now understand more how we both feel. 
We still have days where I get snapped at but I put those to one side and remember the good days.

all I can say is hang in there and make the most out of the good days. And make memories when you can