My dad is stage 4 phase C colon cancer also in liver and lungs. He was promised chemo after his surgery on friday to remove the mass in the colon. He was supposed to be in the hospital for 10 days to recover then do chemotherapy for his liver. Its been 4 days and suddenly today hes told he cant do chemo and being sent home tomorrow for hospice...to die at home he was diagnosed only 3 weeks ago and he wanted to fight. They are giving him less than a month now. He was ready to fight this. Its happening so fast. My dad doesnt want to die, iv never seen my father so depressed, torn apart, scared hoplesss, weak, I am only realizing how much its killing me to watch him suffer and wither away when I just saw him strong and healthy a month ago after a day of kayaking and biking and making me dinner because I wasnt feeling well, my dad was just telling me he cant wait to see me start my career he is in a state greif himself for all the things he had planned and his business was finally doing well again. I went to see him hoping he was given a date to start chemo. 10 minutes after I arrived the doctor came in and told him chemo wont work for him so he should get ready to go home and die basically. Were a in shock and still dont eant to give up . I know there are many options for treatment out there other than chemo, why didnt we receive any other options the doctor was so cold and seemed like she just wanted to go home instead of dealing with us. Should we find another doctors opinion? at least another Year we were planning. they didnt seem like they cared to even advise us on diet or anything that may prolong his life for another week, day or even an hour. It felt like they just wanted to hurry and get him out of there without much reason. Any glimmer of hope for him? Insight on doctors? Should we look for other doctors? We are all so confused we they wont even give us a clear answer on if he has days or months. I want to take all of his fear and pain away.
Hello Lynnkat
Welcome to the forum, I know how difficult it can be to write your first post on a forum like this and I wanted to thank you for reaching out to us.
You must all be in such deep shock after your Dad has been advised so close to his recent surgery for stage 4, phase C Colon cancer, that chemo will be ineffective, and that the hospice is going to take over his care.
A short prognosis, and a lack of empathy or advise at the time of being advised of this, will all have added to your shock and instant grief for everything that you had thought and planned.
Second opinions are always an option, a request for a clear understanding of what they have found during surgery to have changed their minds in regards to a treatment regime, is probably the very least that you should be being told.
In fairness to them, they are unable to give you a definite in regards to days or weeks, because individuals continue to amaze the medical profession and surpass their prognoses by many months, with no true understanding of why.
I believe that there is always hope, it is never the end until the end is here, and in the meantime it depends on how you all, as a family take on this news and fight back.
You mention that your Dad was strong and healthy a months ago and you also have stated that you are now watching him wither away, I am so sorry to read this, I hope that somehow your Dad can find his fight again, that something will come his way, that someone will offer you the advice on diet, care regime and support.
The word hospice frightens people but in truth, these are the places where the very best is afforded to a person who's life is limited, be that, days, weeks months or the year or more you were so hoping for. They will help, Dad will be cared for, the family will receive support,
I know these are not words that make anything better, I just could not pass your post by, Ask Dad to speak to Macmillan, call the number and start the support process..
Thinking of you Lynnkat, and wishing your Dad the very, very best
Lowe'
