My partner has just been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer.

Hello Anna, I was hoping to be able to write positive some words of wisdom but I'm not quite sure I can, other than to say you're not alone. My partner & step dad to my two boys has been diagnosed with terminal head & neck cancer a couple of months ago. His only treatment is palliative (he's had chemo)  & we really don't know how long he has. 

I feel exactly like you. I've shed many tears & we both have together as well but I know he prefers it when we're 'normal' i.e laughing like we usually do & just being our normal selves. He needs me to be like that as it helps him cope. It's unrealistic to say every day will be fine but it helps us both to have a good frame of mind when we can. It does feel like it's all a dream sometimes & he's going to be absolutely fine but I know that's not the case. It's really good that you can both talk & be open with each other.  It's not an easy journey but somehow we just cope.

Not sure if I've helped at all but it's good to talk on here even if it's to just know you're not alone & there are many of us on here  in a similar position.

E x

Hello Anna

I have  just recently found out my mum of 75  has been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer too so I can relate to how you feel I’m very close to my mum I’m an only child and we only lost my dad 6 years ago to bladder cancer sometimes life throws such curve balls at us it’s hard to comprehend everything when the world and all around you is still turning 

it’s hard but you will be strong and the one thing I have learned is to live each day I guess none of us really knows how much time we have… and sometimes this helps people to plan and do the things they want to 

I really wish all the best for you I’ve heard some really positive stories of people living with terminal lung cancer and treatments have really extended their lives please do let me know how you are getting on 

My mum is due to start chemo and immunotherapy tomorrow 

all the very best

Katy x

Sending love. Hurting can feel so lonely but you are not alone in your struggle. My husband is also terminal, no one can know the time frame but he’s deteriorated a lot recently. You can only do your best, one day at a time, and he his best. Share your sadness, don’t be afraid of it because your love will always be bigger. 
And totally agree with Eastender123, normality is essential. X

KB1978, which immunotherapy is your mother starting and where? I thought it was unavailable in the UK. 

Hi there so it’s Keytruda I’m not aware it was unavailable there are a lot of people on here who are on it x this is in Leicester 

Hi Anna .... I know how you feel as I got married in December 2020 and my husband was diagnosed with terminal cancer in February 2021.   It was a real shock as an exploratory day op turned into immediate palliative chemo to beat the initial prognosis of 1 week.  But he did and we've now had 4 rounds of chemo and 2 weeks of radiotherapy,  with life expectancy increasing as we've gone on.   We're now hopeful to have a wedding anniversary but there are no guarantees.    

I know I've struggled with thoughts of being selfish and worried about how I'll cope without him and my future being destroyed because he is dying .... I know I'm not suffering physically the way he has/is from treatment but I am suffering emotionally because I hate seeing him in distress and I know how much I'll miss him in my life.   It's taken a few months and I still have these thoughts but most of the time I'm able to focus on what we currently have,   in this moment,  and I try not to think too far into the future because we have no idea what that will bring or how long our future together will be.  

I just want both of us to enjoy whatever time we have left and we're lucky that 5 months of gruelling treatment has hopefully given us a bit more time ... and he's now recovered enough from the treatment that we are able to start living again ... for however long.   

I think it's really good to talk and share your feelings with each other .... you're both hurting.  It's hard but you'll hopefully eventually find a way to manage your pain.

Sending positive thoughts to you both. 

Hi Anna

Sorry to hear this.  I, as many of us, are going through this right now.  My husband of 2 years ( i'm 57 and it's taken a long time to find my one and only)has been diagnosed with incurable lung cancer and given a maximum of 2 years.  Chemo is not an option as it's already spread to adrenal glands and lymph nodes so it's immunotherapy to try and prolong his life.  Like you, we have agreed that this is a joint diagnosis and we talk about it.   

Don't feel bad about thinking about you as this is, i'm told, totally normal.  We don't say "when", we say "if".  I will give you the advice that has been passed to me on this amazing community.......... take time for you otherwise you will be no use to anyone.  Easier said than done though.

I have decided that every day that we spend together is precious and so very special.

I wish you all the best and my thoughts are with you.

This is a great place to vent so make sure you do.

x

We are in oxfordshire and my husband is having his at the Churchill hospital in oxford. He's having Pembrolizumab.  We were told that he is only getting it because his cells have a certain protein(a spike that protudes from the cells) and he's agreed to go on a trial.

Hi Daisy_21 Thank you so much for your lovely response, I am trying hard to look after me but it is so incredibly hard, Martin's cancer has now spread to diaphragm and chest lining, so we are just awaiting the results of a CT scan he had yesterday and see where we go from there. I am 39 and he is 47 - we are just trying to make every day count.

His original prognosis was 12 months, but they have told me to prepare for this to have changed and not for the better. He is just so weak at the moment as being sick a lot. He is painfully thin now and frail, again, waiting for dietician referral to go through. He is my hero though and fighting to stay here for as long as he can.

You too are in my thoughts - Anna x