Hi my mum has incurable gall bladder cancer and has had tablet chemo which was stopped 4 weeks ago, she is deteriorating and today has had breathing difficulties and is now in hospital, I have so many emotions as this has happened so quickly, she went in for routine gall bladder surgery on the 12th jan and it was stopped, result in the beginning of March being diagnosed, she had a just in case bag put in last night and now today has deteriorated rapidly, I’m waiting to be able to phone the hospital as when I phoned earlier the doctors were with her, just got so many emotions and trying to be strong for my family, I can’t be there physically til Sunday as I had a COVID exposure notification and am isolating, I’ve been making phone calls to get the equipment she needs in place and speaking to her doctor, as the ambulance was there the district nurse arrived to put in a syringe driver for anti sickness meds, but gave an injection to last while she was going to hospital, she has been able to take her regular medication since Monday, is constantly feeling sick then this afternoon her breathing deteriorated and struggled to phone me, I phoned my son who went round and called 999 on seeing her, I am so frustrated at not being able to help more. My brother arrived so he could give the information to the paramedics, I feel useless I can’t be there for her, and I’m scared that something will happen before I can see her, I just don’t know where else to turn and I feel I’m failing my mum as I’m a care worker out in the community and have cared for many end of life clients but never been this side before of having to arrange care, the emotions involved are frightening, I’m so scared to that I’ll fail my mum in her care, I’ll leave it there as it’s so upsetting xx
