My Mum was told she had Metastatic Breast Cancer 2 years ago after having been cancer free from breast cancer for over 10 years. It has spread to lymph nodes and is in her chest and stomach.
She was told 1 year ago that she was terminal. Before Covid she would drive to the shops and walk the dog twice a day but after lockdown had done less and less. My Dad is caring for her but up until about a month ago this required little more than just being there. She was admitted to hospital about 6 weeks ago with kidney failure & the GP was told they needed to keep a closer eye on her. She was meant to be having a district nurse in twice a month and the local hospice came to see her.
She has really deteriorated in the last 2-3 weeks. She has stopped eating and drinking at all in the last 2 days, just sits and stares into space and only ever says I'm fine, she won't go out at all and my dad is just desperate. The nurses came out this week, after they said they would leave her for a week as she said she didn't need them, but they did nothing didn't even take her bloods. My Dad spoke to the GP who seemed very disinterested and said they'd call her in 2 weeks. She has totally given up. She isn't her at all she is always so stubborn and determined. She was up in the early hours of the morning watching telly then napping in the afternoon. If I'd suggested 6 months ago she have a nap if she wanted she'd tell me not to be so bloody stupid.
We just don't know where to turn or what to do. As she isn't in final stages the hospice don't want to know but we are so worried about her mental state. And my dad's.
Any advice??? thank you for listening 
Hi and welcome to the online community
I'm very sorry to read that your mum has metastatic breast cancer and that she's really deteriorated in the last few weeks. It must be a very worrying time for the whole family.
I haven't been in your position, as I was the one with cancer, but I noticed that your post hadn't had any replies yet. By responding to you it will 'bump' it back to the top of the discussions list where it might be more easily spotted.
As you said that your mum has "really deteriorated" it's important that you get in touch with her hospital team so that they can review her. If she's been discharged then her GP is responsible for her care. It sounds like he needs to be told more forcefully (in a nice way) about how your mum has deteriorated so that he can arrange to see her.
I don't know what your mum's nurses normally do when they come out to visit but if taking blood is one of their duties then try not to let your mum send them away - easier said than done probably!
You mum may be suffering from depression so this link will give you more information along with who to contact and what they might be able to arrange.
Although your mum is too well to go permanently into a hospice, lots offer respite care or days when you can go and attend classes. Is this something that your mum's hospice might provide?
Finally, I'm linking this information about advanced cancer care and support which you might find helpful you look through.
x
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
Hi Latchbrook,
Thank you for replying to me and for your helpful response I really did appreciate it 
.
Things have moved on a little since the weekend. My sister contacted my Mums CNS yesterday and spoke to her and she then called and spoke to my mum and dad together, which was great as she could then hear how things were from them both. She then contacted Mums GP and she had a face call with them yesterday so she could see how she was. It was also a good thing they spoke to her yesterday as she had also started to get a little confused so they also saw that. The GP was going to arrange for the district nurses to come out again hopefully this week. Mums CNS also advised we contact the Hospice directly as it may have more impact coming from the family.
My Dad has spoken to the Hospice today and updated them on what's happening and they are going to go to her GP and ask for her to be referred back to them again so they can visit her to asses her again. I am hoping they will be able to now offer them both some support as that is what they really need.
Thank you for your advice and the links for other information that is so helpful. It's such a difficult time knowing what to do for the best for everyone and how to the best for my Mum.
Thank you again x
That all sounds really positive and I hope care and support can now be put in to place for both your mum and dad 
x
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
