Incurable is so unfair

My mother had immunotherapy which didn't work for her. The biggest risk of doing immunotherapy is having your own cells attack and destroy your own organs. I suspect that is the reason why immunotherapy isn't an option for your OH.

My mother went through days where she was pretty down and ate little. I couldn't blame her. During those times we just tried to cheer her up as much as possible with close family being around to help take her mind off of the cancer.

Best wishes.

Thanks it's just really hard he's only 49 and this was really unexpected 

He had a sore throat then cancer in just a few weeks

Sharon

I sympathise with you. My husband is just 51 and has incurable stomach cancer. Bolt out of the blue Christmas 2019. We had just been to his daughters wedding a few months before, had a wonderful trip to New York and then heard the wonderful news that we would become grandparents. We both said how happy we were and then got hit with the C news! 
We feel robbed off a future that we both were so looking forward to. We don’t talk about the future now and just deal with each week and hospital appointment one step at a time, that seems the only way we can get through this together.

Life can be so unfair but I’m also trying to remember how lucky I’ve been to have 23 years of true love from the most wonderful man and my best friend.

thinking of you x

Thankyou 

I'm so sorry for you aswell it's horrible 

I'm finding it all very hard to take as I suppose everyone does 

I feel we've had no time we've known each other 35 years but only reconnected just over two years ago 

We had plans to marry and do lots of things and now we've been robbed 

He was only diagnosed on the 14th September and everything's just zoomed past since then 

He is also really struggling just now and with everyone wanting a bit of his time he's too tired to do anything 

He's lucky if he's up more than an hour a day so we've not even really had time to talk,cuddle all the things we took for granted 

Sharon xx

Hi Sharon, 

I'm so sorry that you find yourself a member of this group that No one expected to or ever wanted to be part of.

Like you and bramblejoo my husbands diagnosis came out of the blue, as it usually does.  He had a fit in may 19 after a completely normal day at work (he was 49, he's 50 now) When he was finally diagnosed after mistakes and delays we were told he had an incurable grade 4 brain tumour. We've been on the rollercoaster ride ever since! I agree with bramblejoo that you do need to try and deal with this one day at a time. Trying to deal with the whole situation is utterly overwhelming and terrifying. Life becomes a new kind of 'normal ' where small things like going for a walk or seeing friends is a win. 

I understand that you miss basic things like talking and cuddles but he may need a bit of time to process the shock.of his diagnosis before he's ready to talk about it. I know my husband has never wanted to know time/prognosis as he feels there's no point. He talks when he feels able to and I don't push him. 

One day at a time and enjoy the little pleasures and make the most of your time together is the best advice I can give. 

Love and best wishes to you both 

(And to you bramblejoo)

And you are certainly not selfish looking at options for treatment, its natural to try and look at everything that might help. 

Thankyou and sorry you're in this situation too

He's had one palliative dose of radiotherapy which has caused him more pain but hopefully that will settle 

We've also started CBD oil to see if that helps other than that were out of options 

He's started talking more now and we've decided to get married while he's still able to talk 

Tracheostomy booked for the 29th then it's just a waiting game and hoping we get some good quality time together

Thanks all

Sharon xx

I hope you do get some quality time together and your wedding day is a lovely day of happy memories x