My husband's Palliative chemo

hi,

you are in a tough place right now. I am so sorry to read your message especially with 2 young boys and your own cancer experience. Pleased that you are okay but now having to dig deep into your reserves again. 

I had a similar experience with my husband.....we too had 5 months of normality after the first initial operation and treatment  for bowel cancer only to be told the cancer had spread to his liver, lungs and spine. Further chemo, and after some radiotherapy  He decided to stop treatment. His oncologist told him to come back any time if he changed his mind, but in my husbands case we knew we had gone as far as we could with treatment.

The relief for both of us not having the endless hospital appointments and the anxiety of what  recent test or scan results showed was huge but we both knew that his cancer was aggressive....

I totally feel your need to try and stop the clock and try and recoup some sort of normality in your lives. For us it was the right decision but not for everyone. 

We had a further 6 months together which was great, we talked about everything , made plans, was able to take a short holiday and weekend breaks, spend quality time with friends and family and enjoyed a wonderful summer. 

What a minefield of emotions we are forced to confront.  I will keep you in my thoughts at such a difficult time.

Love Kathy X

Hi there, I am being totally selfish today and reading through all these posts to find some help as today is one of those bad days for me. Just reading your comments helps me to realise I’m not alone in this crazy ‘palliative’ world, where you’re doing your best to support your husband, be positive for your kids and stop yourself from falling apart by trying to ignore the future.

My husband of 19 years was diagnosed with stage 4 incurable stomach cancer xmas Eve 2019! Merry bloody Xmas! He’s had 5 cycles of chemo and disease still progressing in peritoneum so he’s now started a 2nd line chemo which had basically taken what little energy he had left. He struggled to even climb a flight of stairs now. 
I work full time and care for him as well and most days cope by just keeping busy. We’ve managed to have a fortnight away and are currently on our second week in Cornwall. I think just having that free time to think and realise how much I love our holidays together has made me think how my life will be when we can’t do this anymore. It’s suddenly too much and I’m trying not to keep crying and hiding it from my husband so I don’t spoil our lovely break (he’s in the shower while I’m typing this in tears).

just thought I’d reach out to say you’re not alone and there are so many of us going through this awful experience. Doesn’t really make the pain less but somehow helps to feel that we can cope with life. It helps me anyway.

thinkng if you all xx