Ok starting at the beginning, my mum has stage 4 TCC (kidney not bladder), secondaries in liver and the space where her kidney was.
Three weeks ago we got her to her favourite place in the world, a beach on the Norfolk coast. The sky was never so blue, the sea was actually green, not mucky brown like normal. My mum hasn’t smiled so much in three years. A week after this she was admitted to hospital, practically incoherent. She had sepsis. Antibiotics did their job and she’s now out of that. She’s still in hospital, I’m getting to see her twice a week (9 hour round trip), but I just want to get her home. Since admission she’s developed ascites, and is having about 3 litres a day removed on a drain. I’m struggling to deal with the anger at this bloody disease, it’s just not right that anyone should have to endure this. She’s in a general ward, noisy, busy, and while she’s enjoying the company she needs her rest, again, nothing I can do. They’ve now started her on oramorph which I know is another downward step, but she said she had her best sleep in months so that’s got to be good right? It’s all pretty shit (apologies ). My kids really want to FaceTime her but I’d really prefer their last memory of her was to be smiling on the beach than laid up,in a hospital bed with tubes everywhere and black and blue from needles and cannulas. Can’t sleep for fear of “that” phone call, can’t focus.
Summary - cancer is a t***.
