Hospital discharge - hospice care?

Hi and welcome to the online community

I'm very sorry to read that your dad has been diagnosed with terminal throat cancer. It must be an incredibly hard time for the whole family.

I don't have any experience of using hospices to share with you but I noticed that you'd posted this question in quite a few places and wondered if you'd seen all the replies you've had. If not click on the green writing which will take you to the replies.

Replies from people in the head and neck cancer group.

Replies from people in the family and friends group.

Replies from people in new to the community.

When you have a minute it would be really useful if you could pop something about your dad's journey so far into your profile as it really helps others when answering or looking for someone with a similar diagnosis. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Edit Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.

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I don't know if Hospice in the U.K. is the same as here in the U.S. but here, it is up to the doctor who oversees the hospice facility as to whether or not the patient meets the qualifications for admittance. I found calling hospice and asking questions to be the best way to get personalized help to my situation when my mother was going through the final weeks of her battle with cancer. They immediately sent out someone to get our information and gave us their decision later that day.

In my mother's case, her wish was to die at home and we were able to honor her request but it was at a tremendous amount of personal sacrifice and effort. It took both my brother and I, our spouses and my father to take care of her in the final days even with hospice nurses coming out many times a day. So much so, I have told my spouse that if I end up in a similar situation, please put me in a hospice facility with 24 hour care and just spend the remaining days sitting by my bedside, something that I didn't always have the energy to do with my mother.  Hospice was still a godsend during those days and I can't imagine how we would have managed without them. 

I wish you the best

Hi La16,

I've joined the forum to ask my own questions but yours jumped out at me, so although i am new to these parts, I thought I might offer up our experiences.  My dad had colon cancer removed 18 months agao, but it has now spread to his brain.  He was in hospital for about two weeks, where they tried to manage his worsening symptoms around balance.  He hated it in there, but a doctor in the hospital doing triage on him, referred him to their palliative care team.  This in itself was a bit of a shock, but it meant that the right people now took over his care.  The palliative care team suggested that a hospice would be a good place for him, not at that stage because he was about to die, but because the support would be more thoughtful and less rushed.  The hospital nurses didn't really have the patience for him to take his time about moving.  So he was moved to a St Johns Hospice, attached to another nearby hospital.  Its a charity but does get some funding from the NHS.  The plan was to assess his needs whilst he was there and to give him more active physio to relieve the symptoms of poor balance.  This has been much better for him.  He was isolated in his own room for 2 weeks because of Covid but is now on a 3 person ward.  My dad's level of care means that he would qualify for CHC care, which means that his nursing needs are so great that the NHS would fund his care.  They would only agree to do this if he was moved to a nursing home that has a cost agreement with the local health authority.  The 4 visits a day that you mentioned were also discussed with my dad but his needs are too great.  He can't do much on his own now.

So I would say a hospice is something that you could be pushing for, as it has served my dad well.  He still needs medical nursing but the care has been good.  A nursing home may well have been able to look after him fine, Covid worries aside, but for my dad it is probably too late to move him. If it is to be a nursing home, you would need to choose one that specialises in palliative and cancer care, as not all do.  A social worker should also be involved to help with all of this.  I would be tempted to ring a hospice that you like the look of and explain the situation.

I hope that helps.  Good luck with all of it and I hope you dad stays happy and well cared for.