End stage liver cancer

Hi there I'm so sorry your nan has gotten worse. My mum is nearing the end and like you say everybody is different. All I can say is the noticeable changes are lack of appetite slurring of speech confusion etc. Anything else you need to ask feel free it's good to have people to lean on who are going through the same thing. Sending you a big hug and lots of love 

Mhairi 

Hi Mhairi, thanks for the reply. It's such a horrible time, isn't it... My Nan still seems to be eating well but is very confused and is sleeping a lot, I keep wondering whether it's the medication but I don't know if that is just wishful thinking. Such an uncertain time. I hope you don't mind me asking but what cancer does your Mum have?

Thank you, hugs to you too x

Hi there. She has pancreatic cancer had chemo it went away then came back and has spread everywhere bones lungs hips etc. It is horrible to see someone you love in pain. The morphine does make mum sleepy but the exhaustion has got progressively worse over the last month sleeping most of the time. One thing I would say from my experience of this horrible disease is with mum she seems very ill one minute to the stage we think that's her time and then the next day she has picked up somewhat. It is an emotional rollercoaster. Is your nan getting support from gp/hospice. We are looking into getting my nurses in to help with bathing etc. Mum is so weak now. So sad. Do you have a good support network around you. It's really important to take some time for yourself xxx

Oh no, I'm sorry to hear that. Yeah, Nana has only really been taking morphine for a month or so now but spends the majority of the time in bed now. St David's nurse visits once or twice a week and there are carers coming in to support with personal care but she usually declines. The uncertainty is so difficult. I do have some family and friends so pretty good support network. Do you? Xx

She sounds very similar to my mum. She is very proud and the thought of someone bathing her what break her heart. I do have my family around me but sometimes it's hard to support each other when you all feel so uptight and helpless. Is your nan able to speak to when she is up. Mum is not making much sense at the moment and is too weak to talk. It's such a cruel disease. Hopefully at the doctors tommorow we will have some support put in place because we are all at breaking point unfortunately. Is your nanas morphine helping with her pain? Xx

Yes, they do sound very similar. She just isn't phased by anything at the moment, which I guess is a good thing as she is unaware of the bigger picture. I completely understand, there are so many emotions and it gets too much for everyone really. She does speak but not as she usually would, I can lie on the bed next to her and she would much rather doze in and out than hold a conversation but I'm just glad she is comfortable. It's upsetting seeing the change, isn't it. We find we have to laugh because you'd just cry otherwise. The morphine does seem to be helping, she hasn't mentioned pain since she has been on it but then again, she is sleeping most of the time. She is on 30mg morning and 30mg night so I'm unsure if that is a lot but it seems to work. She hasn't taken any pain relief up until now and it's nearly two years since she was diagnosed xx

Laughing is a good therapy. Just spending time with them even when there sleeping it all counts. It's good your nana isn't in any pain it's a blessing. If you ever need advice or just a friendly chat feel free to private message me

Love to you and your nana xxx

Most definitely, it all counts x

Thank you, I've really appreciated the chat and same to you. Feel free to message me. Love to you and your family xxx

I went through the end stages with my mother in November of 2018. Although I've written about it in other posts, I'll share my experience here. After my mother stopped treatment, things went on as normal as could be for several months. The first sign something was happening was when she and I were doing a fun walk for a charity and during the last half mile or so, my mother started leaning severely to one side. I helped prop her up and together we finished the walk. After resting a bit, she was able to stand normally again.

A few weeks passed and then the final weeks happened pretty quickly.

A few weeks later she started becoming unsteady on her feet and fell a couple of times. After that I started spending days with her while my father was out. As the days passed by, she grew more and more unsteady. After about a week, she started to loose her speech ability and was losing the ability to grasp things in her hands and just a general loss of coordination. We started helping her up and down when getting into or out of a chair and she started using a walker. During week three we had to mostly carry her between chair and bed and by the end of the week, she couldn't help move herself at all so we left her in bed all day. The next day hospice came out (they were there periodically for the last three weeks) and hooked her up to a syringe driver with pain meds and after about an hour she closed her eyes and slipped into a coma like state. At this point, she probably hadn't eaten or drank anything for a day or two. When she went into a coma, her breathing started becoming sporadic, occasionally stopping for upwards at a minute or so at a time before restarting again. After a day or so her throat began to rattle but they gave us drop that helped take that away. She lived for three full days after slipping into a coma. 

On the morning of the fourth day, I woke up early for some reason and went to check on her. I noticed immediately that her breathing was softer. As I sat there over the next hour, it gradually became softer and less deep to the point where I could hardly hear her breath. Then she took one last big breath using entire abdomen and stopped breathing for good. 

Hospice were really good about letting us know the next steps to expect so it wasn't shocking at any point. My only regret was not knowing that when they hooked up the syringe driver with pain meds that she might lapse in a coma. Though my last words to her were "I love you" and she responded with great difficulty the same, had I known that was our last chance to talk, I might have gave her more reassurances. But at the time I thought she was just closing her eyes to take another nap and would wake up later.

Hope this gives you some measure of comfort.