Pessimistic and no faith!

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Morning all, hope you are all keeping well.

Had an appointment with my Oncologist yesterday, he authorised another 9 chemo's. But I haven't yet had a scan to see what effect the first round of chemo has had. He said on the basis of questions he's asked  me, my responses and the look of the area concerned is a clear indicator that the chemo has had some effect on the tumour. This is positive news right? But still I am mentally unable to accept it and remain pessimistic to safeguard myself. I believe this is because I have no faith and went through such a bad rollercoaster time when they were trying to find a diagnosis. I mean amongst other mishaps they completed a scan and advised me it wasn't cancer I had a bleed. Yeah right, I actually had a 15 cm tumour, how the hells bells do you miss that on a scan huh!! Now when they give me positive news, I struggle to accept it as I'm so scared they'll give me hope but then only take it away again down the line. Does anybody else feel this way?

Food shopping today and I think a cream cake is in order! Hope you all enjoy your day whatever it is you may be doing. 

  • Hi Eddie

    I did manage to get the tyre re-pressurised...my husband has this gadget, ( husbands ALWAYS seem to have a gadget for everything!) so I can now use the car locally until it gets a new tyre fitted. I should be out somewhere, it's really sunny now, but I've been distracted by the puzzle section that comes with the saturday paper. This section usually keeps me occupied for at least three days, and is a total time-waster! I tell myself that it is staving off dementia, but it's an excuse not to motivate myself to get off my behind and do something worthwhile, like taking Candy out, gardening or saving the world!

    Enjoy the allotment...hope you get lots of company there.

    Kate

  • Kate that's great the tyre is sorted and your mobile once again, and the sun is shining, I do hope you got out, no sun here, had three hours on allotment did maybe 1 hour weeding and 3 cups of tea with a friend, Kate as someone who has memory issues caused by cancer treatment, I say you keep working your brain, puzzles are a great way to do it, though 3 days does seem a lot, and exercise is also good for the brain and perks you up as well.

    Eddie xx

  • good morning. Thank you eddie for the well wishes and yes feeling much better now. We was forecast thunderstorms here but they never came. In fact it barely rained. We went to the garden centre to get some more pot plants and herbs and veg. We spent most of the afternoon re potting some of the plants on the patio. The herbs and veg we put in herb boxes for Raven our rabbit. Yes, we have a rabbit lol He likes to run round the patio eating everything, including the flowers actually so we like to direct him to the herb and veg boxes. Not that he takes a blind bit of notice lol We head to anglesey tomorrow. We're going for an overnight stay in the national park, so i get to see it seen as though ive not been. Then we will head to anglesey the following day. Im looking forward to the break and definitely looking forward to a no chemo week. Not got any plans for today, probably packing and pottering. How about you? Did you have an unusually quiet one or did things change? Enjoy your day and take care X

  • Hi Marie, off to Wales tomorrow how exciting, Sheila and me off somewhere, not decided where yet but only for one night, so looked for where the weather was good and Anglesey apart from tomorrow looks good, though I think It's Norfolk for us. Anyway I am happy your feeling better, does that mean your eating a little better too and not feeling cold, you got to the garden centre, and in the dry, wasn't dry here, and you bought proper plants, veg & herbs though i hope not just for Raven, you kept him a secret, Snowdonia national park is FAB, you will love it, then off to Anglesey which is nice. I hope you all have a wonderful time, you deserve it I, was treated to a surprise day out to Filey yesterday by my girls which was so nice of them, today all family dinner and taking brother to airport. Odd thing to say but the Menai Strait produces the best salts in the world, worth a look, Enjoy your pottering, an hopefully catch up tomorrow before you go take care.

    Eddie xx

  • Morning Marie, have a great time in Wales with your wonderful family, I hope the break recharges your body and soul, I am so happy for you, have a FAB time and take care, say hi to Dave and your daughter for me, best wishes.

    Eddie xx

  • Hi Marie, Hope you are enjoying your break! A neighbour of mine has a rabbit called Buttons and to stop him eating her plants she has a small statue of a black cat next to her flowerbeds. Buttons won't go near it, so worth a thought! It is great having a break from appointments etc and going somewhere different, I'm sure you will enjoy it. Eddie I hope you enjoy Norfolk, I hear it is lovely!

    We are heading for just outside Durham to a cottage for the week. We have never visited the area but our daughter and family have stayed in the same cottage, so we have had lots of advice from them where to visit. It is great just getting away somewhere different! Enjoy every minute, we will!

    Love Annette x

    Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery, Today is a Gift!!!
  • Hi Annette great to hear your off to Durham for a well earned break, and it looks like the weather is forecast good as well for you, hope you have a wonderful time and lots of ice cream, which I'm sure you will. Me and daughter taking dogs to Cleethorpes today as we have things to talk through, then going to Hunstanton with Sheila, Friday, it's the anniversary of the day we first met, not our first date?, women are weird. take care.

    love Eddie xx

  • Hope you both enjoy your breaks! 

  • Thank you Kate, I hope so as well, I read your post on going to Edinburgh for treatment and understand the bond you made with others while going there. While having radiotherapy, 20 visits to hospital, and seeing the same girls every day who were all so nice, there was sadness and an emptiness when it ended, which i mentioned on another forum and there were many others who felt the same way. How are you and Candy doing, still getting out for walks and doing a little gardening, any progress with the roof, take care.

    Eddie xx

  • Good morning. Just wanted to let you know arrived safely. It's absolutely beautiful. But the Internet signal is rubbish and even my mobile phone signal is not great. Will catch up on my return home. In the meantime, take care X