Went to my local hospice today for the first time and what a welcome I received what caring understanding people I have had the pleasure to meet.
I had a long discussion with a nurse about my fears and confusion, being refused treatments and given 6 - 12 months of life she understood my wish not to give in and my need to fight back with what ever is available not because I am scared of dying, that comes to us all but because I am a carer for my mother who has dementia I fight this cancer for every extra day I can get whilst she lives I fight for my commitments to my dogs as well.
I have an oncologist meeting 24 January this is my last chance to talk them in to giving me some treatments in the hope I can get that extra time I need, I told the hospice nurse and for the first time since being diagnosed I will not be facing a meeting alone, she is coming with me to express my need to fight for every day.
I always considered a hospice to be a place of doom and gloom and I feared going I now realise it is far from it, it's a place of all that is good it is a place that gives you exactly what you need to face your fears it gives you, dare I say hope.
I am joining several groups on the hospice, groups that will benefit my mental and physical health, I will be going 2+3 days per week.
I live alone but I am no longer alone, it feels like I have found a family.
Chuddy 
Dear I’m so glad the visit to the hospice went well and you now feel supported. I hope the appointment with the consultant goes well and he is able to offer you something to give you more time. Get as much information as possible about your options from him and then you can do a cost benefit analysis on what is on offer and make a informed decision. From what you say, it seems the hospice visit has gone a long way to repair your spirit which had been damaged by the shock of diagnosis. For me going to the hospice is like receiving a great big hug full of love and compassion, their only goal is to support you in your decisions surrounding your prognosis and give you the best quality of life they can.
as for palliative chemotherapy, I have had intensive chemotherapy and found it doable and the side effects were well controlled, so it’s not a frightening as you may think.
i hope the doggies, and the cat of course are ok and giving you comfort. I look forward to hearing about your activities at the hospice and any trips you take in the touring caravan, so try to relax.
Dear I am so happy for you, I can feel your reinvigorated spirit coming through in your post. I feel like my posts about what the hospice has to offer has finally paid off and that makes me feel it was the right decision to open up about my experiences and now I have you as my right hand man, so people reading your story might also be inspired to check out what’s on offer. We’re like the batman and robin of the hospice world L.O.L going out into the world to help others in peril of being unsupported.
