I was listening to the radio today and the song “ stuck in the middle with you “ came on and for some reason it touched a nerve with me. For some reason I’ve started to feel guilty for the effect my cancer is having on my husbands life, he never complains but because the nature of end of life in blood cancer is so unpredictable it’s difficult to do anything other than live from week to week. I think that’s why I’m not sleeping well, it’s niggling away in my subconscious even though on a rational level I know it’s not my fault. Since I got cancer I’ve always tried to live in the moment but for my husband it’s not a natural frame of mind for him to be in, he’s normally a planner and doer, I know there isn’t a answer to my problem but I feel better for getting it off my chest. I am sure these feelings will pass, lack of sleep is probably perpetuating the problem.
