Hard to believe

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Hi everyone,

I am 62 years old and in June 2018 I was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer after complaining of a persistant cough and breathlessness, and was on a course of Chemo which finished in September 2018. I then had regular CT scans every three months to monitor my right hand lung. Each time my oncologist said 'no change' which was fine by me as I felt well - just like my old self. My last CT scan showed that the cancer may have spread to my spine so was given a PET scan. Unfortunately the PET scan results last week, have confirmed that my lung cancer has spread to my spine, left hip and lymph node. I live in Guernsey where unfortunately immunotherapy is not available, so will be starting chemo again very shortly.

What I find hard to believe is that I feel ok - to the extent that I still play badminton to a reasonable club standard, and I have no pain and a good appetite. I am told that my life expectancy is short - so is it possible to go from feeling fine to death's door really really quickly?

I am hugely grateful that I can still have an active enjoyable life, but am very very worried about what might be just round the corner. 

  • Again thank you to the wonderful responses I have had to my question. Each of you have your own battles and yet you still reach out to others, with thoughts care, and compassion. The Guardian article was very informative and thank you daloni for sharing so much with us, there was much useful advice there, and ways to keep smiling.

    I had a great night out last night - a meal out with my badminton group and they know nothing of my cancer, so we were all in great spirits without the awkwardness of them feeling sympathy for me. I find it humbling that when you all have such health problems yourselves and worries, you are  still responding to me. I wish I could wave a magic wand for you all - but thank you I feel much more positive.  

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to David F

    Dear David, thank you for your heartfelt words. Enjoy all that your life has to offer and when you need advice the forum will always be here for you.

    jane

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to David F

    You are welcome . One aspect none of us has touched on is that reaching out to others with kindness and compassion is one of the ways through our own suffering. It’s an idea that is explored in The Book of Joy, which recounts a meeting between the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu. It’s not very well written but it contains some great insights into the nature of joy and how to achieve it. 

    https://www.amazon.co.uk/Book-Joy-Dalai-Lama/dp/178633044X/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?keywords=the+book+of+joy&qid=1573379427&sprefix=the+book+of&sr=8-2


    Another book that I’ve found very useful and comforting is With The End in Mind by palliative care doctor Kathryn Mannix. It’s a beautifully written account of a series of deaths at which she’s attended. 

    https://www.amazon.co.uk/End-Mind-Dying-Wisdom-Denial/dp/0008210888

    Your badminton supper sounds a great tonic. It’s a beautiful sunny morning here in Kent. I hope you and everyone in this community has a lovely day 

    xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi David

    Not sure if you sore the Channel Islands news tonight and how they are looking to change the medications available in Guernsey. It will take time and may or may not include immunotherapy, but a little hope maybe?

  • Hi Gina,

    No I missed that news item but have now seen it online so many thanks for the heads up. The States debate is on 15th January so I hope to go along to show support, and keep my fingers crossed.

    Thanks again I and I hope things are improving for you.

    Best Wishes

    David