I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Colon and Liver Cancer JAn 2023 and began extensive Chemotherapy followed by surgeries and Ablation of liver. Then Colon and liver Surgeries following this I had ileostomy and reversal process. In all its been an 18month journey 1100 hours of Chemo and 6 Operations. I seemed to manage to cope with all this process and treatment with little emotion as I had to just get on with the process and get through each stage or it was game over.
My expectation was that at the end of this I would feel delighted and even euphoric getting through and beating the diagnosis. In gas=ct the opposite has happened. As I finished treatemnt i felt flat and sad and energyless coming up to the first Review. I expected in review to feel dated to have an a clear but instead there were two concerns Something on my liver and some marks on Lung noticed. This unexpected extra issues really threw e emotionally into a spiral of fear and Anxiety. Fortunately the liver issues was closed down as scar tissue b it I have to wait 6 weeks for a CT of Lung. I have been carrying this fear of what if this is another cancer hitting me, and all the What ifs that follow that thought, it has drained me of energy and filled me with constant Anxiety.
I attend a therapist for support and this bump has been a far bigger hit on me emotionally than all the procedures and treatments together.
I get results of Lung Scan Friday this week and hope this will help lift this anxiety. I need to get my positive MOJO back a this post Treatment emotional treacle is totally draining me. Any one else getting similar experience? I am being referred to Psychiatrist as I feel i am border line Depressed and need support. I am also surprised this is happening following survival of all that has happened?? Where is the relief and delight to have survived……..
Hi Northfields Bell and I see it's your first post on the Community so welcome..... I did see your post earlier today but left it to see if it picked up a reply but I have come back to say hi.
I have been on my incurable cancer journey for over 25 years..... and like yourself I have had significant treatments over these years (See my story)
I was first diagnosed way back in 1999 at 43 with a rare (8 in a million) incurable, Cutaneous T-Cell Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma……. then I eventually reaching Stage 4a in late 2013 when a second, also rare (4 in a million) type of aggressive Peripheral T-Cell Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma was presenting so although my cancer ‘type’ and treatment journey is rather different I most definitely appreciate the challenges of this journey rather well.
Over these 25 years I have never officially been cancer free...... but thankfully, as a family we have a joint ability to control the noise between the ears and not let my cancer define us....... but we aim to define how we live our lives around this uninvited squatter in my body.
In late 2013 when it all kicked off I was told that the 'plan' had to work as there were no other options available to me...... the plan did work although it took 2 years to do so...... but in these past 9 years since my last treatment there are few new options that have come into the tool box if required....... so in our book we have Hope and for us HOPE stands for......... Have Only Positive Expectations.
It often helps to talk with others who have navigated or are navigating the exact same journey so you may want to join and post in our dedicated......
Bowel (colon and rectum) cancer
........ support group.
This group is a safe place to talk to others with a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support.
