Emotional state after treatment

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Hi all,

So i was lucky with only stage 1 testicular cancer, it was caught within a eight months, ive had surgery and chemo too. But im really struggling with dealing with everything. As a side note, im also transitioning and have anxiety.

I have really bad nightmares some days, or i assume they are, i wake up feeling anxious, worried and upset, other nights i dont sleep at all, im just aware of everything, i feel on edge at times too - i feel that now tbh - every sound is making me whip my head round, i feel jumpy too, like id rather hide away than cope with people, i dont really understand them.

Im also terrified that every twinge or pain is the cancer spread, which seems natural

Im going to ask the nurse today, as i have an injection, but i figured it couldnt hurt to ask everyone here too, if you have suggestions.

  • Hi  and welcome to the Community and to this little corner of the Community.

    Navigating the post treatment world can be challenging…… I have a very rare (7 in a million) incurable and so far treatable blood cancer and I have had time to get the space between my ears under control…… these are a few suggestions/tools that you may want to look at or consider.

    First it may be helpful to make a cuppa and have a look at this great paper After Treatment Finishes - Then What? by Dr Peter Harvey as it highlights the post treatment milestones.

    The paper is a great tool but I often talk about the concept that when we first get our cancer diagnosis we all get an invisible ruck-sack put on our backs.

    We then walk through our journey including our treatments, clinics, blood tests, scans, side effects……. and unknowingly, we continually throw stuff into the ruck-sack…… and the stuff builds up. It’s only when we finished our treatment (rang the bell) and look to try and ‘live’ life we realise that it’s not that straight forward.

    This is due to the weight of the ‘stuff’ we have collected in the ruck-sack pulling us down…. stuff like pent-up anxiety and stress, the ‘what if’s’, the difficulty in seeing a way forward with life, the disappointments around how some of our family and friends supported us, the silly things people said during and after treatment….. the list goes on.

    There comes a time when we hit ‘the wall’ and this is the point when this ruck-sack needs to be taken off out backs and over time cleaned out. It’s not an instant fix but a process…. but the healing process can only start when we are willing to do it and to achieve this we often need help so these are some links that you may want to follow up and see where you can find this help.

    Do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area.

    Do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.

    We also have our Telephone Buddy Service where you can be matched with someone who understands what you're going through, and they'll give you a weekly call.

    Macmillan have teamed up with Bupa to offer up to 6 free counselling sessions. You can read more about that by clicking here.

    Do get back to us once you have looked through the paper and considered the links I have put up.

    Mike (Thehighlander)

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

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  • Hi ShiningAasimar

    For a while after my surgeries I also had this heightened sense of danger. Everything made me concerned and it was out of my control. I remember sitting in the chair at the Dental Hospital which is on the 12th. floor. There are huge glass windows and the view is spectacular. However I was terrified and just wanted to get out of that room. I could just visualise something terrible happening at that height. Fortunately over time this sense of danger lessened and is no longer present. I can now go into that room in the Dental Hospital and just enjoy the view.

    I think maybe it is related to the 'fight or flight' conditioning we have. We have just got through a life changing experience and are still looking for the danger that is around the corner and this can result in extreme anxiety.

    Do discuss with your Macmillan nurse and take the opportunity of the counseling sessions that are available through Macmillan.Time does help though as we get some distance from the surgery/treatment we have.had.

    Sending you my best wishes