Emotional and scared

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  • Hi I had a lumpectomy over a year ago and all chemo and Radiotherapy have finished, I am now at the point of worrying if this cancer will return and can't shake it off, every little niggle or pain I have starts me off again and I worry that my hubby and i have not been close sexually since my diagnosis over a year ago, I don't feel sexy anymore
  • Hi again and good that you have put up a post in both the Breast Cancer group but also on here.

    Navigating the post treatment journey can be challenging and does take some determination. I have lived with and been treated for an incurable cancer for over 24 years so the ‘what if’s?’ are just part of life…… having relapsed many times I live in the moment and try not to let the thought of my cancer kicking off define the way I live….. I define my journey as I intend to be around for as long as possible so won’t let this hard fought for opportunity of life be robbed from me.

    I can only imagine the emotional challenges surrounding how you look, feel and your relationship with your husband….. the healing process is two way and needs to be worked on.

    It is often good to sit and talk face to face in a support environment so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and give support to all the family.

    Macmillan have also teamed up with BUPA to offer up to 6 free counselling sessions for people struggling emotionally because they are living with cancer. Clicking on the link will give you more information about this.

    As for navigating the the post treatment world you may find it helpful to make a cuppa and have a look at this great paper After Treatment Finishes - Then What? by Dr Peter Harvey as it highlights the post treatment milestones.

    Always around to chat or just listen.

    Mike (Thehighlander)

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

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  • Hi Wendy

    This is a hard time for you and your husband and some counseling as Mike has suggested is a really good way to move forward. Talking to someone about your concerns can really help. Your husband sounds as though he is really understanding. All relationships go through hard times even without the added complication of an invasive op that effects your self esteem.

    It is surprising how resilient we humans can be especially with a bit of help to move us along. I have had 3 occurrences of jaw cancer and feel exactly the same as Mike does about not letting my opportunity for life to be robbed from me. I also decided that I would not waste my life worrying and in fear of another occurrence and would  'seize the day' as a life lived in fear is no life at all. You are still in early days of emotional and psychological recovery but you will get there and enjoy life again.

    Sending you hugs