After cancer

Hi Sam , I’m so sorry you’re going through this . I think it must be so hard for the partner . I know my husband found it very hard to see me going through treatment. I’ve struggled from anxiety and depression most of my life and I empathize with how you are feeling . You’ve been triggered and it’s brought back raw memories. Maybe explain to your partner how your feeling . I’ve also found talking therapy has helped a lot . You might need to sort through a lot of stuff you’ve buried deep down . If you feel you can’t do these things just yet , start a diary . I started one a couple of months ago . I’ve written all my anxieties and worries down . A lot of things i can’t always talk to my husband about but it makes me feel better . Sending you a gentle hug Sam , one little step at a time XX

Thank you, yeah my partner is a diamond for everything he has been through and still finding the power to support others. My partner knows about all my worries/ feelings but I feel awful for putting it all on his shoulders. I used to keep a diary but I always forgot to write in it. Thank you for your kind words and advice. I will have a look into the talking therapies. Xx

Hi samwise95 and a welcome from me. I have been on my cancer journey for over 22 years now, a journey full of highs and some very low lows...... my wife has walked the journey with me - through all the crazy treatments, challenges, heartache, joy....... I will always say that at times the person looking on has to navigate a much harder road then the person having treatment.

We were married way back in 1979 and from day one had a 'all cards on the table' approach so when my cancer journey started this agreement was so important. Some of the treatments I had to go through (see my profile) had us away from home for a month at a time, away from family and friends with some of the treatment putting my very existence at risk.......

Due to the severity of the treatments we were assigned a family Psychologist who was baed in my treatment centre. She walked through the pre treatment, the treatment and post treatment journey with us.

We also attended our local Maggie's Centre as these folks were amazing at unpacking all the baggage we both collected on our many years on my cancer journey.

I will also say that I am in no way cured as my type of cancer is incurable but am in remission for the past 5 years - so this for us is rather amazing and we won't let anything rob us of this achievement,

Honesty is one of the most important traits of a balanced relationship, seeing each other challanges from both sides and working together on moving forward together.

I will say that my wife and I do not suffer from anxiety, stress, worry...... life is what it is and we just deal with what comes along. We often cant change circumstances but we can change our mindset to deal with the changes and strive to the console and not let our lives be defined by the 'stuff' that comes along but more we define how we navigate problems and challenges when they come along.

It’s always good to talk so do call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service provides lots of emotional support or just a listening ear.

((hugs))