Who do you turn to!!

Hi Mecca, you’re not alone. Try calling MacMillan’s support line: 08088080000. They’re the experts. I’m not sure if they operate on Sunday but give it a go. Good luck and hang in there. 

Hi again Mecca the brain makes this living thing so hard at times.

I have lived with my incurable blood cancer for over 22 years now. A rollercoaster of a journey (see my profile) and I have had a few very close encounters with death but the amazing advancements in treatments have turned the tide ever time. 

I totally understand when you say “I want a worry free day when death doesn't cross my mind and invade an otherwise happy day” and at one point in my journey I could say I had these thoughts.

A few years back I was also suffering from survivor guilt, yes guilty for being alive!! This was because I was alive when three close friends all died from their cancer within a year. 

So I needed help to unpack this weight from my back

I found this help at our local Maggie's Centre as these folks were amazing. During lockdown a lot of their services moved onto online video support. But I see our local Maggie’s (Inverness) are starting to open up for one on one support so check this out.

In the Highlands it is not that unusual for people to do a 3-4 hour round trip to go to the centre so it is all down to our willingness to get this support.

My support worker unpacked my rucksack load on my back and this included my focus on living life to the full and not letting fear rob me of the gift I was given through my various treatments.

I now live a life that I define and not my cancer defining me. The space between the ears can be the strongest or weakest link in our journey so getting control of this one thing is so important.

My amazing Specialist Cancer nurse of many years told me something very helpful early on…… The ‘cancer anxiety train’ is always sitting in the station....... but we can only get on it if we go to the ticket office and get a ticket....... don’t go in the queue and get a ticket.

You may want to check for any Local Macmillan Support in your area that has opened up do also check this link  to the Macmillan Buddies Telephone Service

As has been highlighted you can call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service provides lots of cancer information, emotional support, benefit and financial guidance or just a listening ear.

I highlighted the great paper After Treatment Finishes - Then What? by Dr Peter Harvey as it highlights the post treatment milestones. What did you think, what stood out to you.

The fact that you have come into this corner of the community is a very positive step.

Mecca, just vent, rage, or whatever on here as well. We will listen, I know its helped me in the past, and now even. But do ring Macmillan as well. And read the paper listed by the Highlander. That's been helping me the last couple of years. I've given it to my boss as well as family, to try and help them understand. Perhaps you could use it as a conversation starter? Sending big (((hugs))) you are not alone.

Hi Gemmary, I did that! I had a few drinks and pretended that I was giving advice to someone with worrying thoughts(to myself)!! It helped. The next day I felt rubbish with a hangover but had to pull myself together to visit my mam who is being investigated for dementia. I'm not feeling great but the last few days are better. The 25th is Monday and I'm hoping that I tell the Doctor how I'm truly feeling but also my worries about recurring symptoms. I hope that you are okay and thank you for your brilliant advice xxx Marie