Getting back me again

Hi Jackie  and welcome to the Mac Online Community and to this little corner.

The great ‘normal’ question?.... but COVID has not helped this cancer journey but this will pass like any other pandemic apart from the fact that us not being on this type of journey before.

I have been on my cancer journey for over 21 years now and at times, living the post cancer treatment journey is like living in a parallel universe - you can see your old life but regardless what you do you can not get back on that same path.

Following my many years of treatment and now nearly 5 years into my post treatment life, a situation I was unwillingly put into. It did actually make me review life and everything that we once thought important.

So some things from our old life are still in our lives but various aspects of our old life that were once seen as important were put in the bin and we don’t miss them.

I always start by highlighting this great paper as it unpacks the post treatment milestones. Make a cup, have a look and come back to us with your thoughts as it will make you think.

I see you have found the breast cancer group - again a good place for specific information as each cancer is so different.

When you have time put some info in your story as it helps a lot - my one is rather long but it has been 21 years.

Highlander ((hugs))

Hi 

Thanks for your reply it was lovely to hear from someone who understands. I`ll have a read of the paper so thanks for the link.

  I was diagnosed in September 2018 with grade 3 breast cancer with nodes involved. they decided to do chemotherapy, which by the way I did not think was kinder as the telly said I thought it was awful, FEC was nasty but the T was the worst thing I had experienced, first, as the nodes who very enlarged, they struggled to find the breast cancer but eventually did after various painful biopsies.  It was a total shock, no family connection at all and was not expecting it at all, well you never are are you?  I kept the british stiff upper lip and tried to be so brave when I really felt like screaming, I don`t know why I think to show my family that I could cope.  My husband was very supportive but I think I have had an element of denial about what happened, I felt pushed around and told what to do by the doctors and nurses and they didn`t really want to know how I felt at all.  I attended a support centre locally but as time went by I felt they wanted me to stop going to make way for new patients.  Hence my looking for help here I hope I am not rambling too much it feels good to talk 

x

Hi Jackie65,

I understand exactly what you are saying. I finished my treatment just over a year ago and I still struggle to feel any type of normality.  I have tried to stop mentioning to family and friends that I dont feel so good and that I'm totally exhausted without actually doing anything,  and you see their eyes start to glaze over! My mum actually said to me " this is a long process isn't it!"  Damn straight it is, it will take as long as it takes and no matter how hard we try to fight to get back to some kind of normal, it just isn't going to happen. 

This group certainly helps because we are all going along similar paths and it's just magic to find people who understand exactly what you mean and how you are feeling.

Take care and keep chatting x

Janeejanjan, have had time to look through this great paper?..... what do you think? what stands out for you?

Hi 

That`s exactly how I feel too, my friends were very supportive initially but now time has gone marching on I feel I can`t keep talking to them.  

I wonder do you ever get to a point that you stop thinking about it recurring, it always seems to be there in the back of my mind and then if I get pains or anything then I`m worrying?  My shoulders and neck ache all the time, but I think it`s because they had to take all the nodes under my left arm and I have no feeling in my arm and shoulder, does this ever get better?  

I try so hard to be positive but there are days that I worry that I`m losing myself to this, I remember someone told me that you are never the same after breast cancer and it`s true it takes so much of who you are doesn`t it?  

I hope i`m not rambling too much 

x

Hi Jackie65

No you certainly are not rambling too much, that is the purpose of thus community ,everyone here is a good listener.

As regards stopping thinking about our cancers recurring, i never have after 5 years since treatment ended  larynx cancer)'

however after time goes on I'm sure like me , your thoughts wI'll be  less troublesome .Now after all this time my 

confidence re health is quite strong and I feel yours will be too after time. I think cancers of all types do as you say takes so much out of you , but again I hope you also, like a lot of us do ,experience more peace of mind as time passes.

Please remember it is you now how is the important one and I'm sure your good friends will still support you when needed.

Take care I hope you find this community of help ...we all understand as we gave all been in a similar boat.

Ron