Please don't feel the need to read, i just looked and i've really gone on lol just needed to write it down and share it somewhere.
I finished treatment for breast cancer a year ago next month. During treatment i was fine but since everything has just gone from bad to worse.
So i got the all clear from cancer, but then i started with anxiety, the nurse described it as being similar to PTSD. The nurse practitioner at my GPs prescribed me with sertraline for the anxiety but because of that i had to stop taking amitriptyline which i took to prevent migraines. Lockdown came and to be honest its done wonders for my anxiety but then i started with cysts in the breast i had a mastectomy on (Hospital did an ultra sound and a mammogram so we know its only cysts)
Last Friday i got another cyst that was really painful so i rung GPs and they gave me antibiotics. Saturday was horrendous, i cried all day and ended up with migraine. Went to bed a i always too was sick a couple of times but thought i'd be ok after a good nights sleep. Woke up Sunday still headache and sickness, Monday still the same so rung out of hours doctor incase i had a reaction to the anti biotics, he gave me some anti sickness tablets and said he thought it was just a severe migraine and to ring my GP and tell them i want to be put back on amitriptyline. So Tuesday still headache and sickness rung doctor and she put me back on amitriptyline, i mentioned about being on sertraline too but she said i would be ok.
Fast forward to yesterday, rung GP in the morning because i woke up unable to cough!!!! have you ever heard anything so mad!! And my voice had changed. She said to go in and she'd check me over. Was in with the gp for an hour, turns out now i have had a "Blip" with my heart. If i get any pain in my chest or down my arm to ring 999, but i always have pain in my chest and arm due to after effects of my cancer treatment. I now need to go for a scan on my heart, but might not happen until this covid stuff has finished.
I'm 49, my granddaughter turns 1 in 3 weeks, and now i'm wondering if i'll get to see her grow up.
Hi , this is a good place to unload and I have to say, it’s good to take your rucksack of ‘stuff’ off your back, empty it on the floor and choose the things you ‘do’ want to carry around with you all the time.
See that “....and now I’m wondering if I’ll get to see her grow up” thought....... ditch it. It’s just not healthy and is your negative part of your brain winning the ‘what next’ fight. Allow the positive side to take back control.
I went through this very same thing in June 2014 going into my first Stem Cell Transplant with one 2 year old granddaughter in place and another on the way. Yes the last 6 1/2 years have been packed full of challenges...... second Stem Cell Transplant, ICU, sepsis, RSV Virus, Pneumonia, A Fib (heart irregularly) and in the past few months, pre-diabetic and high cholesterol....... But over these same 6 1/2 years I did see three granddaughters added to the Clan.
There were many times when the negative part of my brain tried its best to rob me of the positives in my life but I just kept kicking them where it hurt.......... find something, give it the name ‘Negativity’ and when you feel you are on that downward spiral take it out and give it a good kick ((hugs))
Hi again...... A song from the musical South Pacific comes to mind..... “I’m go-in to wash that ‘negativity’ right out of my hair”
Yes, it amazing up in Inverness - good job, as I officially have another 32 days left on my official ‘Sheilding’ restrictions and these are then to be reviewed so expecting a longer sentence lol....... but plenty to do in and outside the house but missing my walks.
From today in Scotland two households can meet in a park or private garden with a maximum of 8 people - officially I/we are not allowed to meet with people but taking great care so we can see our daughter and granddaughter at the weekend but no cuddles........ but can’t risk going for walks as there are lots of people out and about and it’s not worth the risk me having a permanent reduced immune system.
Enjoy your weekend and when you empty that rucksack on your back - don’t pick everything back up - dump one thing at a time xx
