I broke down again now having a date set for surgery, i’m trying to take it on board, massive anxiety, feel sick at the back of the throat, just hope i don’t have a panic attack on the way. It’s the thought of being put under is one thing i’m struggling with.
Then there’s how you feel when you wake up, weird surroundings, aware of what’s been done to you, i wish i could cope with it better.
I know some people are a lot worse off, wish i could shake this my fears, i’m having a lower anterior resection
Hi Double G
It’s ok to be scared-it’s normal and very understandable-most of us are when faced with any kind of surgery and the fear of the unknown.
In my experience, and I’ve had 4 general anaesthetics now, the anaesthetist will come and see you for a chat before surgery. They appreciate you are scared and will do their best to reassure you that you are in safe hands. They will explain what will happen and what will be done. I’ve asked them what drugs they were using and they were happy to explain them.
Once you are taken to the theatre, the staff will keep chatting to you, distracting you from what is going on, before you are actually taken into theatre, as they set up the cannula to deliver the drugs. This might be our first experience of surgery but they are doing this all day every day as their day job, so they understand what they need to do to help keep us calm.
Often you will be given a pre med first which relaxes you before the main anaesthesia. I have honestly been really unaware of when the anaesthesia was being administered-on all occasions I have literally gone out like a light! One minute you’re awake and chatting, the next moment (it feels) you are waking up.
For my biggest and longest surgery, I woke up very groggy and not really aware of where I was, and then was moved to the high dependency unit. I honestly don’t remember much at all about that as I was mainly drifting in and out of sleep and was there for 2 nights. Pain relief was delivered by a pump put into my hand which I could press. You can’t give yourself too much of that! I wasn’t sure exactly what had been done in my surgery but I remember touching my abdomen to see if I could feel stoma bags, because that would have indicated to me the operation had been successful. Once I felt them, I remember smiling and just going back to sleep.
My most recent surgery was last September, and again I had lovely staff chatting to me in the prep room. I remember looking at the clock and it said 9.15am. When I came to, the first thing I looked for was the clock and it was 1.15pm. I came round quickly and was moved back to the ward, where I was awake enough to sit up and have a cup of tea. There was no pain (I’d had my gallbladder out) and it was a very positive experience all round.
I think things are never as bad as our mind might make them feel to us. You literally don’t know anything about it.
Sarah xx
Hi Double G
It’s really not making a big thing out of nothing-don’t beat yourself up! This is a really big thing for you to undergo.
I hope you are getting help with your anxiety-I was on medication for anxiety for about 18 months - from just before my first cancer diagnosis to beyond my eventual final surgery and it was definitely useful for me.
Sarah xx
I was on Sertraline, only 50mg so basically it took the edge off as it were. It was described as being for “low mood”. I was never offered anything stronger and I know gps don’t like doing that, especially with something like Diazepam. I was given Diazepam oneck, years ago by a gp, as a muscle relaxant to help with my sciatica, but I was only allowed 3 tablets and got no more!
If your surgeon has suggested a higher dose of Diazepam for you, I’d be inclined to go back to them and let them know what your gp has suggested and see if they can help with getting an increased dose. I always bypassed my gp when I was looking for pain relief during my cancer as they were useless. My surgeon was able to prescribe decent pain relief which I collected at the hospital pharmacy.
Sarah xx
