Dear Friends,
It's my one year stomaversary. Had my APR surgery because of a very low small rectal tumour a year ago that resulted in a permanent stoma. Very successful, got rid of my cancer. But the operation itself was fairly traumatic and I had a huge amount of pain afterwards which was a shock. I am now physically healed up but as I have approached this one year I have had flashbacks to it and have been very tearful. Am outwardly (to friends and family) coping well and get by with finding the funny side in it all, but underneath have recently been struggling. Has anyone else experienced this?
Jane xx
Oh, this is so hard Moira. We are the only ones to understand how it feels, so we have each other, but we are the only ones who understand the anxiety and fear around scans. I swear I’m going to turn on the next person who says “but you’re fine aren’t you? Thought you were cured?” They will be getting both barrels! They have no idea of the reality of life post cancer diagnosis,
I do laugh though-you can’t help but laugh when you deal with two stomas! 
Sarah xx
Laughter is the only way Sarah, although half the time it covers tears! Even my own family don't get it, I swear they don't! I know they went through hell and back when I was in hospital, not even b
ng able to visit! But they don't get how much it affected me to have to break the news on a WhatsApp chat, that I had cancer! My son in America definitely thinks I'm cured, end of! So we laugh, we pn and then we come on here and scream! Maybe that's the answer, remember how that had a clap the NHS night, we should have an annual scream night! Oh heck, I think I'm going slightly mad!
Moira x
Do they know that you’re away ? It may be worth letting them know and ask if they could let you know before. You don’t want them phoning when you’re away. They may say that they’ll give you appointment when you’re back
Ive decided that I will try the reversal if it all works out and she’s hidden I am going to have a tattoo on the scar
How crazy is that None of us are tattooed in our family but I want to mark her so my mind is creating at the moment think it’ll be a small Daisy with the word Whoops For whoopsadaisy
The thought makes me smile But it might all change That’s me slightly mad
You take care and plan that holiday. X
Ann
Moira
I feel for you. We’ve been chatting a long while. Remember the avatars? That was fun and got me busy designing again.
Whoopi is for life even if they shut the door she will be doing her thing for me.
I think feeling frightened is a normal reaction . I would be exactly the same. I am the same. I also think that the first time it’s flight or fight then we fight and if there’s a call back the old memories come flooding back. You’re not a wimp all of us would be the same.
If you need to let it out. Do it here.
Sending you a hug x
Ann
Thank Kath
Its mad. I’ve never wanted a tattoo but I have really changed my mind over this. I actually really like my Whoopi. I’ve lived life to the full with her so she’s going to leave her mark. My scar will be as amazing as she is.
Im very tempted to keep her. I remember what I was like before the operation I lived on the toilet with no shows.
But I will go for it if I get the chance.
Thanks for the encouragement Kath.
Ann
Hi Ann,
I love your designs, you're so good with all of your clever ideas! I'm sure you're going to miss Whoopi in a way but as you say, she isn't gone, she watching everything in the background!! I didn't have time to think the first time, they thought it was a fistula and I went to see the surgeon about that, I came out with an unconfirmed anal cancer! That was 23rd December, had my operation on 5th January and then, of course, it was all confirmed! A great Xmas THAT was! So it was all very quick but now I have too much time to think! I also thought, being urgent, my appointment would be sooner but I suppose I'm lucky to even get an appointment that soon!
I have my 6 monthly telephone appointment with my colorectal nurse in about an hour, I'm usually very upbeat after speaking to her so 
, she might have a magic wand!
All hugs gratefully received,
Take care,
Moira x
