Stomaversary!

It’s not just you Kath 

The cancer was challenging then Covid isolating causes us all to be mindful of everything. I even noticed childrens socialising changing with the pandemic. It was shocking seeing little ones frightened to get too close. This has been a nightmare. Plus cancer is haunting. I had some biopsies yesterday CT tomorrow and I am convinced it’s back. Ridiculous I know. 
Sitting in my room at the hospital yesterday and my consultant came in. Mentally I was right back in the BRI and the enormities of that surfaced over a 15 min procedure. I have to keep putting my memories back in their boxes ! 
Hope all here are having a good day today. 
xx

Thanks everyone for being so helpful.I went from operation to chemo to covid lockdown with hardly time to breathe between.no wonder I sometimes find it hard

Kath

You have had a rotten time Kath. Having all that treatment and the world changed when you finished. It’s been horrible. You keep chatting here if it helps. Xx

Thanks just having one of those days.kath

We all have those days, Kath. I try to be upbeat and positive as much as I can, but I can’t even remember the last time I was in a shop. I know I am lucky enough to go on holiday, but it’s literally the only time I ever leave the house. I was discharged from hospital after my surgery on the day the first lockdown was announced and life has never been the same since then.

Sarah xx

I went on holiday to London, last September and since then the only place I've been is to doctor and hospital appointments! I'm going back to London this September but before then I have to have an Ultrasound on my liver and blood tests! I'm terrified that the cancer has spread and my jaw is aching from smiling, because I don't want to bring the rest of the family down! Honestly, this acting cheerful for others is tiring! You're not alone Kath, thank God for this site where we can be ourselves!

Moira x

Oh Moira, I do hope everything will be ok. I get SO tired of saying “I’m fine” to save everyone else’s feelings, but here we can say what we feel and acknowledge that it’s not always a bed of roses for us. It IS tiring to be thinking of everyone else all the time and trying to be mindful what we say. Personally, I’m absolutely fed up of it! But I’m glad there’s somewhere we can say what we think.

Sarah xx

I think when the GP said I needed an urgent scan and I asked if he thought the cancer had spread, I fully expected him to tell me I was being silly! When he told me that was why it was urgent, I went into shock! So now, exactly a week before our holiday, I'm off to get the scan! In the meantime, I had another call, from the nurse, saying my kidney function isn't right either! Happy days, I feel like staying in bed, rather than popping into see the Queen!

Yes Sarah, I'm so very grateful for this site and everyone on here, at least we're all going through the same things!  We don't have to apologise for moaning, half the time we end up laughing!

Take care,

Moira x

I agree with you. It’s so hard being strong all of the time.  This space we can say how we feel without worrying our families 
Moira I really am thinking of you. Please keep us updated. I hope all goes well.