Stomaversary!

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Dear Friends,

It's my one year stomaversary.  Had my APR surgery because of a very low small rectal tumour a year ago that resulted in a permanent stoma.  Very successful, got rid of my cancer.  But the operation itself was fairly traumatic and I had a huge amount of pain afterwards which was a shock.  I am now physically healed up but as I have approached this one year I have had flashbacks to it and have been very tearful.  Am outwardly (to friends and family) coping well and get by with finding the funny side in it all, but underneath have recently been struggling.  Has anyone else experienced this?

Jane xx

  • I use humour a lot Moira-well, you have to with 2 stomas! Joy

    I had to tell my daughters individually on the phone when I was diagnosed first of all, once I had a treatment plan and was able to reassure them.  I tell them the minimum I can even now, to stop them worrying, so they really have no idea what’s going on in my life.

    I’m not sure if I’ve done the right thing because they both think I’m cured and fine! Their dad thought I should have been more honest as they are adults, but they’re still my babies and I want to protect them. Will that make it harder in the future? I don’t know. Will they feel deceived? I don’t know. I struggle with that if I’m honest. But what’s the point in giving them things to worry about? 

    Count me in for a scream night! Joy

    Sarah xx


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  • It's just so hard, knowing what to tell the family! One of my 3 sons lives with us, since loosing his job, one lives a couple of miles away and one lives in Seattle, USA.  We all know what our kids can cope with, or we hope we do! They will always be our kids, crazy when I think two of mine are in their fifties! I sometimes think I tell my two that are here far to much and the one in America not enough! At the end of the day, what can they really do? I get a lot of support off them but I know they worry, so is it fair? All we can do is what we think is right Sarah,  nothing more!

    Take care,

    Moira x

  • Hi Sarah and Moira 

    I totally agree with you. I didn’t tell anyone much until I had the treatment plan. I hated telling them my youngest was the worst. Sat around the table looking at her eyes filling. It’s making me react the same and she’s thirty eight!
    I feel that I want to protect mine too so keeping info minimal, truthful and answering questions honestly you can’t go wrong. That’s my theory and I’m sticking to it.

    Ann
     ‍Art

  • My life gets crazier, I spoke to the Colorectal nurse today and she did a lot to reassure me, without saying too much! My kidney problems, which were also worrying, it turns out my sodium levels are a bit low so she's told me to eat a bag of salted crisps! If only the liver could get sorted out so easily!

    Telling my eldest son this, I'd said I was looking forward to having a holiday as this would probably be out last one together! He immediately thought I was dying! What I really meant was that next year we've all made other plans! It was HIS idea that he and his brothers go off together! That's what I mean about telling them to much, they just end up worried sick!

    Take care,

    Moira x

  • Oh dear Moira-shows how difficult it can be to say even simple things! Last year my partner was organising a surprise for me to have my daughters and partners come for the weekend and had to start by saying, look your mum’s not ill, don’t worry, she just really wants to see you all and for the whole family to spend time together. We have to be so careful!

    Sarah xx


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  • Hi

    Ive been sailing through my bloods, CT scan, reversal, wound and the drama that caused. 
    I had a letter today from my consultant I expected it to be my recent emergency appointment standard doctor patient letter 

    He’s booking me another scan in three months. I have a nodule on the lung. His letter is reassuring in that he’s not concerned and my bloods are good  but I’m devastated. I thought that ghoul cancer was behind me but it seems to me even though I was really lucky it’s still there and jumps out at me. 
    I didn’t see that one coming ! 

    Ann
     ‍Art

  • Oh, Ann

    I'm so sorry to hear that.  Please hold on to the fact that your consultant has said that he's not concerned though (and I'm sure he would've seen you again before 3 months if he was).  They're doing the right thing by keeping a close eye on it.  It's a real b***er this cancer, isn't it?  Once that word has been planted in your brain, it never goes away.

    However, I remember my surgeon telling me that lung nodules are quite common and not necessarily sinister.  They can be caused by a previous lung infection or by living with a smoker for many years. 

    How's your recovery after the reversal coming on?  I'm so in awe of you for going ahead with it.

    Try not to worry (easier said than done, I know) and take care x

  • Thanks BlueBlue you’ve really helped.

    The reversal has been amazing. I went out for breakfast with my sister yesterday. It’s my first time out and was lovely. I’m adjusting to the BMs and I’m lucky I’m not working but there’s definitely more routine now. The wound is healing so today I felt some light at the end of the tunnel then that letter. 
    The worst thing with Cancer is the waiting and thinking it’s there isn’t it.?

    I hated it in my bowel and was so overjoyed to get rid of it.
    I have had Covid and did smoke when I was young but the nodule wasn’t picked up a year ago so it’s new ! 

    I’ve got to try and put it out of my mind. 
    Thanks for your support 

    xx

    Ann
     ‍Art

  • Ann, I feel gutted for you, what a damned, horrible shock! I'm sure that your consultant would have wanted to see you much sooner if he was at all worried! I'm full of admiration for the way you've come through the reversal, you certainly don't deserve this worry!

    I know I'm not alone in sending you a big virtual hug and all the best wishes in the world,

    Moira x

  • Thanks Moira

    Im hopeful that it’s not the cancer ghoul and if it is it’s only a year but it hit me for six.
    I’d actually forgotten that feeling I had before my LAR. Maybe I was too confident  to get through it all and didn’t look back or think it may return  

    How are you? 
    xx

    Ann
     ‍Art